Ever since my wallet was wallet-napped, I've been plotting conspiracy theories and giving people the skeptical hippo look. Not just about my wallet, but about... everything.
For example, we had pizza for dinner (mmm stuffed crust, I would be jealous too, Reader). When the pizza man knocked at the door, there was a long, unfortunate misunderstanding. In short, he had to call the Pizza Hut, read my card number and confirm BLAH BLAH BLAH! He handed over the pizza, left, we smiled, ate, then frowned cause we felt round and stout. Then as I was doing my best impression of a lump on the couch, arms like noodles at my side, my eyes grew wide... very round and very wide.
I thought, what if the pizza guy wasn't confirming my payment/card with Pizza Hut? What if he called his buddy and gave him in my card number!?? The bastard! He thought he would fool me with his polite manors that a golden retriever would be jealous of!
My playlist for the day
The Eagles - Lyin' Eyes
