life's about changing.

On January 18th I went to Petco to get some hay and bedding for my BFF bunny Lou. While I was there I saw a sweet little bunny who was up for adoption. I played with it for a bit and decided to hurry and leave before I got too attached. Well, right when I left I wanted to go back and get him. So the next day I went back and adopted the sweet little bunny. He was a Holland Lop, 2 years old, and came from an abusive home (grrr). I was so happy I would be able to save and rescue this little buddy.

I brought him home and it was kind of heartbreaking to see how timid and frail he was. You could feel his spine (and see it too actually) and his poor fur on his ears were matted. But he was lucky to end up with such an animal lover like me because he would see nothing but love.

I named him Murph. And Murph was a sweetheart. It was cute to see him and Lou chase each other.

However, something went terribly wrong on Sunday night. I was at the U of U basketball game and when I got home I went over to say hi to Murph and Lou and I noticed Murph was laying on his side which he never does. I laid there by him to see if he was breathing. After a while I started to panic and I shook him and his cage a little bit and said "wake up, wake up" The more moitionless he remained the more I knew the thing I was hoping it wasn't, was.

Little, sweet Murph had died.

I know it wasn't my fault but I feel so sad I wasn't there to be with him. My heart is broken. I looked on the internet and I guess it's normal for a bunny who was abused and to go from home to home is likely to have a sudden death. I wish it wasn't that way :(

R.I.P. Murph. I love you and I'm sorry you had such a crappy life that you didn't deserve. I loved the upside heart on your face.

 

grab hold of the soul where the memory lingers

If you think that a kiss is all in the lips
C'mon, you got it all wrong, man
And if you think that our dance was all in the hips
Oh well, then do the twist
If you think holding hands is all in the fingers
Grab hold of the soul where the memory lingers and
Make sure to never do it with the singer
'Cause he'll tell everyone in the world

-Jack White
The White Stripes

change is never easy; you fight to hang on and you fight to let go.

HELLO.

As of January 6th I have been living out at Shandey's house (just til February 1st...).
Just me and the little bunny friend living in their extra bedroom.
Everything is fine, it's just so we can "test run" what it will be like living with each other in Chicago.

Honestly, it's a hard adjmustment. As much as I love Shandey and my nieces, it's a lifestyle i'm not used to. The hardest part is not seeing Steve everyday. Ha, we are three days in and that has been my biggest struggle. I miss him. I think about him a lot. When I listen to the very bottom of my heart, I think this time I'm away at Shandey's is going to be good for more than one reason.

Not being at our apartment has really taught me how much of a homebody I am and how easily homesick I can be. I mean, I'm 30 minutes away from my apartment and I'm feeling like I'm in another country. Shandey has a nice, loving, warm home but nothing feels like my home.

A while ago I wrote on here, "Home is not a house, city, state, town, room, or street. Home is a person. And Steve is my home."

Normally, Kaleena would say "this is way too difficult and making me too sad to have this much distance from Steve and our apartment" but this new Kaleena that is weird and is all like "No, you are going to stay here and gain something from this experience. You aren't weak anymore."

Want to know how to know if you are crazy? You lecture youself and call yourself names. Ha. Insanity is great.

Just twenty-three more days and I'll be back in the Avenues. Home.

there's nothing worse than too late.

“there are worse things
than being alone
but it often takes
decades to realize this
and most often when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than too late”

-Charles Bukowski 

i'm not ready...........

........ to go back to work tomorrow after I have had AN ENTIRE WEEK OFF.

But good news is, I know I will be very productive. Whenever I have mass amounts of time off, I'm efficient and productive... for like a week. Ha. Also, I have some new music on my iPod, so I'm excited to listen to it at work tomorrow. I have some Lumineers, CAKE, Killers, Bill Withers, Reel Big Fish, Walk Off the Earth. And oh yes, I will be listening to them all.

My goals/resolutions are this:

1. Stand out at work.
2. Be better at cleaning... (not waiting til the last minute to clean and keep things tidy every day)
3. Keep a regular schedule at the gym.
4. Get more sleep.
5. Focus on the future.
6. Don't waste time worrying or on things that bring me down.

This was my first post of 2013 and I made it as lame as possible. AND I didn't even do my annual tradition of saying all the new words that nobody in the world has probably said yet. I must be getting old.