Right now I'm just sitting in my room. On my bed. With music playing. Bunny drinking his water... which happens to be one of the loudest noises that you would think wouldn't be so noisy. And i'm drinking water out of a mason jar... not because I'm hip and have these chic ideas on how to turn old junk into cute household items but because when you live with five people, sometimes an old jar is the only thing you can find to drink out of. So that's my Saturday.
I worked today. Which is something I'm not going to cry about. Yeah, it's not the ideal way to spend a Saturday but I get paid extra for working on Saturdays. And let's be real... what else would I really be doing.
Right now I'm really loving coconut oil. I put it all over my face and it makes it soft. Unfortunately, coconut oil doesn't give you a new, better face. But it does give you a face that is at least soft.
I just heard a lyric that made my insides shift sudden and low. It said
"when I see you again,
and i'm greeted as a friend,
it is understood,
we did all that we could."
I didn't really have a reason to start this post, but I just felt like my head and heart were very full and I needed an outlet. Before I started typing this I was just looking at my blog. I sat and thought as I stared at "Just Add Kaleena" in rainbow at the top of the page of this blog. The top of my stories and thoughts and feelings, and it suddenly registered to me how many different times I have logged in here and all the things that have happened to me since. The first time, that rainy Saturday when I was laying in (at the time) mine and Steve's bed and decided I should start a blog. Kaleena, why didn't you start this sooner? There have been so many special and precious moments these last six years. But I guess you can never truly know the value of a moment until it is a memory. When I think of this blog, what I see in my head is our (mine and Steve's) old apartment living room in the Avenues lit by the floor lamp that we bought together from Big Lots, me on my laptop - Steve on his. Family Guy/Scrubs/Fraiser on TV. Either super STICKY hot or teeth chattering cold-hiding under layers of blankets, and typing on here. Occasionally Steve and I would glance at each other to share a laugh at what just happened on TV. Some people would look at that and think "you guys just spent time on your computers when you could have been doing so much more" but no. Those times, to both of us, are our most treasured times because Steve and I were so connected that we felt connected and at peace with each other no matter what we were doing. It's one of those things that we could spend the whole day in silence but at the end of the day feel like we've had the best conversation. They were comfortable silences. Not everyone can understand that. It's something I am certain I will never share with anyone else in this life. It is so rare and I'm so grateful I got to experience that feeling with another human, even if it was just for a short time. Our time together was short but it was the best time of my life. But was it cause it was our first love? Or because we were just in sync? I don't know. Other times when I logged in here it was after I just had the worst day, emotions all over the place and needed to put it out into words. And other times was just when I was silly and wanted to be silly on the internet. And now to this time.... me alone, reflecting on my past and realizing that nothing around me is permanent. Everything is temporary except for the love in your heart. I don't know where all this is coming from... there is a good chance that when I read this tomorrow I will just scratch my head. But sometimes the best way to understand how you are feeling is to write it down.
I worked today. Which is something I'm not going to cry about. Yeah, it's not the ideal way to spend a Saturday but I get paid extra for working on Saturdays. And let's be real... what else would I really be doing.
Right now I'm really loving coconut oil. I put it all over my face and it makes it soft. Unfortunately, coconut oil doesn't give you a new, better face. But it does give you a face that is at least soft.
I just heard a lyric that made my insides shift sudden and low. It said
"when I see you again,
and i'm greeted as a friend,
it is understood,
we did all that we could."
I didn't really have a reason to start this post, but I just felt like my head and heart were very full and I needed an outlet. Before I started typing this I was just looking at my blog. I sat and thought as I stared at "Just Add Kaleena" in rainbow at the top of the page of this blog. The top of my stories and thoughts and feelings, and it suddenly registered to me how many different times I have logged in here and all the things that have happened to me since. The first time, that rainy Saturday when I was laying in (at the time) mine and Steve's bed and decided I should start a blog. Kaleena, why didn't you start this sooner? There have been so many special and precious moments these last six years. But I guess you can never truly know the value of a moment until it is a memory. When I think of this blog, what I see in my head is our (mine and Steve's) old apartment living room in the Avenues lit by the floor lamp that we bought together from Big Lots, me on my laptop - Steve on his. Family Guy/Scrubs/Fraiser on TV. Either super STICKY hot or teeth chattering cold-hiding under layers of blankets, and typing on here. Occasionally Steve and I would glance at each other to share a laugh at what just happened on TV. Some people would look at that and think "you guys just spent time on your computers when you could have been doing so much more" but no. Those times, to both of us, are our most treasured times because Steve and I were so connected that we felt connected and at peace with each other no matter what we were doing. It's one of those things that we could spend the whole day in silence but at the end of the day feel like we've had the best conversation. They were comfortable silences. Not everyone can understand that. It's something I am certain I will never share with anyone else in this life. It is so rare and I'm so grateful I got to experience that feeling with another human, even if it was just for a short time. Our time together was short but it was the best time of my life. But was it cause it was our first love? Or because we were just in sync? I don't know. Other times when I logged in here it was after I just had the worst day, emotions all over the place and needed to put it out into words. And other times was just when I was silly and wanted to be silly on the internet. And now to this time.... me alone, reflecting on my past and realizing that nothing around me is permanent. Everything is temporary except for the love in your heart. I don't know where all this is coming from... there is a good chance that when I read this tomorrow I will just scratch my head. But sometimes the best way to understand how you are feeling is to write it down.
