dreams.

For the last two nights I've had dreams that I was either meeting Jim Morrison or in the same room as Jim Morrison.

That only means one thing....

That if we were alive at the same time we would probably be married and driving across the United States in a VW Bus and he would tell me how much he loves me every day.

I have no idea what else those dreams could mean.

the day that started with sugar.

We had a breakfast potluck at work today. I remembered this on the way in to work and I was suddenly rambunctious because:

1. My belly was yelling at me, demanding food. And what my belly wants, my belly gets.
2. A breakfast potluck meant FOOD and more FOOD would be waiting for me to eat it when I got there.

As I stepped in the office, my illusion of stacks of pancakes and french toasts with the perfect amount of syrup dripping off it with sides of perfectly cooked bacon was quickly shattered. I was greeted with a box of Krispee Kreme Donuts, cinnamon and sugar bagels, chocolate muffins and some sort of variety of dry cereal with melted marsh mellow goo covering it. Not what I was expecting, but grateful, nonetheless. I was sure I was staring at some sort of sugar apocalypse. Just by observing the items in front me, I think I felt me getting four cavities. So I dove in.

In all my twenty-two years, this day will always be remembered as the day I ate mass amounts of sugar in less than twenty minutes. After playing the one player game of 'how much sugar can you eat before ten AM' I was soaring pretty high for a solid twenty minutes... that was soon interrupted by a very heavy and unpleasant sugar crash. I went from a three year old child with ADD on crack to basically a vegetable.

And now here I lay, on my bed, surrounded and buried by the Starburst wrappers from last night. Some people might say I have a problem with sugar, but I say, I just know how to have fun.

my day in sixty seconds or less.

Here is my Thursday in sixty seconds or less... Depending on how fast you read.

*Ate a poppy seed muffin the size of my head for breakfast.
*Worked. Obviously.
*Played an 80 point word in the game... WORDS WITH FRIENDS.
*Was tapping my steering wheel like a drum... the guy in the car next me was singing with his windows down so I yelled over to him 'we should start a band!' He laughed and drove away. So I will take that as a NO.
*Bought two bags of my favorite Starbursts.
*Cooked dinner.
*Drank a large Red Bull energy drink. I feel another caffeine apocalypse coming on. I see no bedtime in the near future.

things that would make a day memorable.

Ingredients to a perfect day would be:

Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge.

And endless (literally) bucket of Dippin' Dots.

Napping in a hammock.

Playing on a tireswing.

ST BERNARD PUPPIES.

I wish these things were apart of my day today.

what i should be doing and what i'm really doing.

I should be in the kitchen doing the dishes and cleaning out the cluttered fridge.
Instead, i'm sitting on the couch.

I should be in my room, getting rid of all the piles of clothes and nonsense that keep forming.
Instead, i'm sitting on the couch.

I should be starting some laundry since I found plenty of quarters.
Instead, i'm sitting on the couch.

When it was still light outside, I should have been walking around taking pictures.
Instead, I was sitting on the couch.

I should be getting my Halloween costume together (TO BE ANNOUNCED).
Instead, i'm sitting on the couch.

I should be out somewhere, singing or dancing on a piano and making someone go crazy for me,
Instead, i'm sitting on the couch.

I should get up and see what that drilling/hammering noise is outside my window.
Instead, i'm sitting on the couch.

I should be at the gym, sweating, exercising, flexing, etc.
Instead, i'm sitting on the couch.

I should be doing a lot of things.
Instead, i'm sitting on the couch.

But I like the couch.
I'll do more things tomorrow.

dear kaleena.

I am going to write a letter to myself because I can.

Dear Kaleena,

Today when you woke up, you were hoping someone was going to be standing by your bed (without a weapon) to tell you that you didn't have to go to work today. After being disappointed that you DID have to go to work you, you got to use your space heater for the first time since the Winter and was happy about it. When you took a break for lunch, you saw a sad flyer posted on a pole that was for a lost dog... but instead of it saying 'lost dog' it said 'lost friend' and it basically broke your heart and you started to cry a little. You looked up recipes and came across one called "taco pie" and you pulled a really disgusted face at the image that popped into your head of a "taco pie". You finally found one for a lasagna and went to the store to get the ingredients. Making the lasagna went great until you cut your left index finger wide open and couldn't find a band aid in time. After overreacting to the cut and almost calling 911, you finished dinner and the lasagna was a great success. Then, you remembered that you will be getting paid tomorrow and was drowning in excitement. You made a note to yourself that read:

I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. I will only spend this paycheck on bills and nothing else. 

Then you found this pretty picture on the interwebz:

Kaleena, even though you didn't really DO anything today, you still loved this day. Now go shower before it gets too late, remember to check for spiders so you don't have another duel.

boo.

I don't care if i'm 22 years old and am technically an adult. Adults are supposed to be brave and pay bill on time and make sure there is always toilet paper in the bathroom and not be scared of silly things. I however, AM an adult and it honestly would be easier to list the things I'm not afraid of as opposed to all the things that usually keep awake at night, terrified. So, here is a list of things that make me scream, run away, cry, faint, hide, and sometimes.... all at the same time.

+The dark.

+Spiders.

+Thunder.

+Drawn on eyebrows.

+Bad breath.

+Poor grammar.

+Responsibility. 

+Kids.

+Odd numbers. (surprise, surprise)

+Losing my teeth.

+People without teeth. Including babies.

+Being alone.

+The doctors office.

+My imagination. 

+Ferrets. 

+My shadow.

+Body odor.

+People who aren't registered to vote.

+Garbage trucks.

+Turtles.

+Earwigs. 

+Bears.

+The ocean.

+Space.

+People who don't use CTRL codes. 

+16 year olds.
+Poodles.

the happiest of weekends.

If think back to all the weekends I've lived in 2011, this weekend was my #1 favorite so far.

Friday:
Friday was super rainy. People at work were saying, "it literally is raining cats and dogs!" so when I heard this, I left my desk at once, ran outside to see. Sadly, it was only raining raindrops, not cats and dogs. People really need to relearn what LITERALLY means.
I was supposed to go to a free outdoor concert but since it was "raining cats and dogs" I went home and had Mike, Tyler and Scott over. We went to a place that had breathtaking Philly cheese-steak sandwiches. I wanted to do something dramatic to show how much I loved the sandwich, but the only thing I could think of was... to keep eating it.
After the sandwich eating went down, we went to the store and got the most childish combination of purchases. The purchases uncluded:
1. Silly string.
2. Punch balloons ( balloons that have rubber bands so you can just punch it back and forth with yourself ).
3. Toblerone candy bar.
After being attacked by the newly purchased silly string, we ended up back at my apartment where we decided to see how long we could hit the balloons to each other without letting the balloon land on the floor. Our longest record was six minutes and fourty seconds. Our shortest record was two seconds. The game got so intense that I now have three bruises on my leg and Mike had a cut on his shoulder. It's not a good weekend unless you get a bruise or a cut.

Saturday:
Saturday was fully consumed by college football, obviously. It was the rivalry game between UTAH and BYU also known as The Holy War. (read about it here) We went down to Provo in all red to witness the game. The final score was Utah-54 BYU-10 So yeah, we spent a great deal celebrating and my voice is basically destroyed from cheering.

Sunday:
I bought a food chopper thing at the store so I can make homemade salsa. Note to self: DON'T USE ONE ENTIRE JALAPENO PEPPER. I think I'm slowly making progress on the road to being a great cook.

a to z of meee!

 I got this fun survey from April from april, maybe. If you don't follow her blog, stop reading this, go follow it and then come back here and read this. I check her blog first thing every morning, and when I say first thing in the morning, that means even before I go to the bathroom!

A. Age: 22

B. Bed size: Full.

C. Chore that you hate: I don't hate chores. I love doing chores so much they are basically hobbies as sad as that sounds.

D. Dogs: Three. They live with my parents where they think about me and miss me everyday.

E. Essential start to your day: Food.

F. Favorite color: Turquoise! And red!

G. Gold or Silver: Hmm. This one is tricky because up until about a few months ago I hated gold, I thought it was tacky, but now I have a lot of gold jewelry. But at the end of the day, you would probably see me wearing more silver.

H. Height: 5’7″

I. Instruments you play: My car steering wheel, I sometimes beat it like a drum when I'm listening to music.

J. Job title: Professional procrastinator also known as a Loan Processor.

K. Kids: No. Just no.

L. Live: Salt Lake City, Utah.

M. Mother’s name: Tessie but she goes by Marie.

N. Nicknames: Oh snap, here we go... Kal, Kalaballoo, Kal Bear, Kaleenie, Neely, Vanilla, Bomb chick, Sister,

O. Overnight hospital stays: Nope.

P. Pet peeves: I have roughly over one hundred billion pet peeves. The biggest ones I have though are when guys make PMS jokes, people talking over the radio instead of turning it down, people talking over the TV when I'm trying to watch, when a waiter forgets your food/drink, when little kids stare at you in restaurants, when girls call their boyfriends "boy toys", when people use the incorrect your/you're, when people wake me up when I'm napping, when drivers forget their turn signal is on and they aren't turning, PEOPLE WHO DON'T LISTEN, when bands try and be funny in between songs at concerts, girls who act like they like sports when they really don't have a clue about them... hmm I think that's all ha ha.

Q. Quote from a movie: "Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss.." - Little Miss Sunshine.

R. Right or left handed: Right.

S. Siblings: Two older sisters.

U. Underwear: It exists and I wear it.

V. Vegetable you hate: Cooked spinach.

W. What makes you run late: My hair misbehaving or not wanting to go where I have to be.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth, and when I broke my left arm when a tree threw me out of it.

Y. Yummy food that you make: No comment. :(

Z. Zoo animal: Panda bears. Freaking panda bears.

adventures in babysitting.

Tonight I got to babysit my niece, Lola. Here is the sweet baby girl:

I would tell you all the funny things she did to make me laugh, but most times people don't think those stories are funny unless you are the parents. So I will spare you and you won't have to give me any courtesy laughs. 

IN OTHER NEWS: When I was driving to my sister's house, I saw a semi truck tipped over on its side on the freeway! So if you thought you had a bad day, just think, you could've been a truck driver who tipped over a semi truck on the freeway.

kaleena and the big bad scary spider.

Last night, if you were sitting in my apartment building's hallway, you would have had a front row seat to....

Kaleena vs Brown Recluse Spider

Round I

I was walking up the stairs to my apartment with a bunch of plastic grocery bags hanging off my arm. Eleven to be exact, it's my new record. As I was looking down, I spotted the bastard. I spotted the Brown Recluse Spider. And as you know, Reader, I am pretty terrified of any bug, mainly spiders. I looked down at my shoes and saw I was only wearing flip flops so stomping it to death was out of the question. I went inside (quicky) and grabbed my only weapon, Windex... as in glass cleaner. I chose this because it would kill the spider and I could aim from a far distance. I went back out to the hall and started spraying and spraying and spraying. The spider kept running which made me want to die. Anyway, what felt like a bajillion sprays later, the spider was finally motionless and what appeared to be dead. The only problem was... as I was spraying it to its death, it crawled up onto my neighbor-across-the-hall's door. So the scene of the crime was all over her door.... her door was covered in Windex with a dead spider stuck on it. 

I didn't want to look like a bigger idiot than I already am by explaining it to her... so I ran into my apartment before she came out. About five minutes later I heard voices in the hall. I peeped out of the peep hole and saw her and a guy looking at the door, confused. I silently laughed to myself, silently pitied myself because I knew this was probably the biggest highlight of my week and then went back to my throne, the couch.

In conclusion:

1. Spiders make me look like I am crazy.

2. I can be an idiot.

3. That spider didn't stand a chance.

4. I know I should do the right thing and explain what happened to my neighbor, but no.

5. When it comes to bugs, I am a coward.

Kaleena: 1 Spider: 0

and i quote.

"It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember." -i can't remember

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have" -unknown

 photo by weaheartit

if everyday was like monday.

It's Monday. And here are some pancakes for you. I really don't mind Mondays.... I only don't like them when I've been on vacation for three days. I was hoping work would go by super freaky duper fast which it did and in which I am thankful for. I was sososososo happy to get home and as I arrived to this lovely apartment of mine, I was greeted by the pile of luggage from my trip I don't want to unpack. So.... I'm not going to ask anyone to come unpack it for me, but that would be the ideal situation. Do you know what the worse part of vacations are? The part where you have to come home and unpack... with blisters all over your sad feet.

Anyway. One month ago, I decided to grow out my bangs. I am more than certain your hair will grow and grow and grow but when you actually want it to grow, it stops growing. So, I am going to go for a drive and be busy growing my hair/bangs.

one bus ride later.

On Thursday night, we stepped onto a bus in Salt Lake City and fifteen hours later, we were stepping off that same bus in L.A. It was only supposed to be eleven hours but the bus had some issues. A lot of people think an eleven to fifteen hour bus ride sounds frightful and daunting but I truly enjoy long rides. Plenty of time to stare out the window and think, listen to music, talk and watch the guy across the aisle on the bus with pretzel crumbs on his shirt sleep with his face jammed against the window. I have more pictures to show you prove to you that I really was in L.A than your parents have of you on your first day of school standing in front of the fireplace. but right now, I wanted to give you a short list of some things that happened on the way there, there, and the way back.

+Bus breaks down. Obviously.
+I slept on the floor on the bus and used a roll of paper towels for a pillow. I don't know what it means that it was probably one of the best nights of sleep I've ever slept.
+There was a guy on the bus who looked like Jim Morrison. Hair and all. Oh yeah.
+I found an 'Elvis Presley Blvd' keychain at a gas station.
+The walk from our hotel to Venice Beach was soo far that the bottom of my place have been replaced with blisters.
+I think our hotel room was haunted. Unless all hotels in California have yawning noises coming from the closet at 3AM.
+We stood in the ocean for the first time in 2011!
+Somebody went #2 on the bus bathroom. I thought it was unspoken rule that you don't go #2 when you are on a bus ride that is 11+ hours. We should find the person who did this crime and lock them in there as a punishment. I'm afraid this smell will never leave my nose or memory.
+Drove through Las Vegas.
+ Ate at iHop. Twice.
+We ate a huge bag of gummy bears. Wahoooo!

That is all for now. To be continued tomorrow. The next space is a silence dedicated for all the lives lost because of September 11th. xoxo

my wall.

Out of nowhere, I decided to start hanging things on the wall by my door in my bedroom. Most of it is favorite pictures I've hung on to over the years and my new Instax photos. Some of it is just random things from concerts and stuff I've found and kept throughout my life. Also, on my light switch, I did indeed write 'Lumos' and 'Nox' But are you honestly surprised? I'll freaking love Harry Potter til the day I die.

millions of frowns.

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

I'm going to be honest. I've been miserable since the day Steve broke up with me. It's been 3 months. I've been trying to put it all behind me and be grateful that we can still be friends, but it's not enough. I've been great at pretending and hiding my pain and hurt behind my smiles and laughs and stupid jokes, but at the end of the day, it's all still there. It's there when I go to bed, it's there when I wake up. It's there when I'm standing in line at the store and when I'm sitting in traffic. Every piece of me knows that I should be with Steve. It was never a question and I still believe that. He made me so happy everyday. He was my home.

I'm completely torn. On one hand, I know that I have to move on and stop clinging to our past, stop thinking of every happy moment we shared, stop thinking about certain times when I drive past a place/restaurant we used to go all the time, stop thinking of the last three and a half years. I have to stop all of that nonsense, for the sake of my mental health and my heart.

But on the other hand, I am confident that Steve and I are supposed to be together. I know that he is the only guy out there for me that can make me happy and that there is a chance we will get back together. I have a feeling, and I know that doesn't say much, but I have a feeling that I can't give up on this. I can't ignore it.

I still have my friends and family and other distractions to make me happy, but that is just temporary. They are minor distractions to the pit I will fall back into. I have something to reference and I completely hate that I'm about to do this and I'm giving you permission to make fun of me for it later... I keep thinking of that quote from Twilight, forbidden to remember, terrified to forget.

I know people go through this everyday and I'm not the first person this has happened to. But I don't see me getting over this.  And people keep saying, "it's his loss." or "you'll find someone else!" or "you will find someone better!" But I don't want to. I want Steve. I always will.

So, in the mean time, I will just be sitting here. 

Being whatever I am. 

Without Steve.

Picture by weheartit.

bits of my weekend.

Mini cuppy cakes. Top left is raspberry, top right is a southern comfort, bottom left is a breakfast at tiffanys (my favorite) and bottom right is a diva.

 My tall frosty, glass of Mountain Dew.

 Cuppy cakes.

 I mainly took this picture to capture the neat fountain show, but I guess fountains don't appear in night photos. But they sure were fountain-y and stuff.

 Another sunset. Gasp!

 BBQ ribs! I became obsessed with BBQ food this weekend and it only took one meal to do so. It's my new favorite food. For now at least, we'll see what food I'm obsessing over in five months.

If you love spicy food like ME, you would love those sauces up there.

i promise that i'll run away with you.

It's a Monday right now and I'm not at work!

Life is pretty good.

But can someone please explain why I can't sleep in past 8 on my days off?

Photo by weheartit.

Today I am going to:

1. Run errands.

2. Find somewhere neat in my neighborhood and take pictures with my Diana F+.

3. Not be at work.

4. Find someone who wants to go to Famous Daves with me because I found out this weekend I am obsessed with BBQ food. Mainly ribs.

5. Hopefully find a couch in the road like the photo up there and do exactly what they are doing.

6. Download some music and make new playlists on my iPod.

contains heavy nonsense: you've been warned.

Right now. Right now I am laying on my bed in my bedroom with only my one little lamp on and my iPod playing on my iHome. iLikenightsliketonight. My iPod is currently playing: Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap. This song reminds me of so many different things and makes me feel so many feelings, that I really just get lost listening to it. This song is like a time machine.

I'm basically just laying here thinking about my excited feelings for this up coming week. Here is a list of why this week should be great.

1. I don't have to work on Monday.
2. I don't have to work on Monday
3. I don't have to work on Monday.
4. I don't have to work on Monday.

If you ask me, those four things are all you need to make a week great. I'm hoping some other great things will happen to me this week as well. Things like,

1. Winning a contest.
2. Becoming such an astonishing cook that people will line up outside my apartment for days and night just to have a plate of something I've cooked.
3. My landlord will not only allow pets in the building but as a surprise for the news he will give everyone a puppy.
4. My hair will grow really long.
5. Open up a cupcake shop and have a grand opening so I can use a pair of giant scissors to cut a ribbon with.
6. I'll trip and fall and my face will land on an envelope that has a paid in full trip to New York City for a month... or a year.

finally.

It's finally September and I am basically thrilled.

Mostly because I just feel some strong hostility towards August.

But still.

September is probably my second favorite month after December.

After some long contemplating and pondering, I've come to the decision that I really hate 2011. I can't wait for it to be over.

it's baaaaack.

You probably didn't know this, but I don't know what kind of things you know, so I'm going to tell you anyway. I am a very dedicated college football fan. To be more specific, the University of Utah. Go Utes!

They had their first game last night and it felt wonderful to be back in the stadium after nine long months of waiting, watching the sport that brings millions of people together. We stand in the MUSS. The MUSS stands for 'Mighty Utah Student Section' Yup, that is 3-4 hours of solid standing. The MUSS is what makes the games FUN. But I have a complaint about the MUSS. Some.... obnoxious groups of people decide to come stand in the MUSS and not pay one teeny tiny ounce of  attention to the game, and that can be distracting. And annoying. And makes me want to behave violently towards them.

Utah opened up (and won!!!) their PAC 12 season against Montana State. Final score was 27-10. And I just want to let you know, I predicted the final score would be 28-7. Basically, I'm a pro when it comes to predicting not only the exact final score, but predicting a final score that was almost the final score. Hee. Hee.

cars can have bad days too i suppose.

Reader. You are not going to believe the day my car had. I didn't even know cars could have such a bad day. My day was just jolly-good, but my car on the other hand.... it definitely did some suffering.

I was driving home to my apartment on my lunch break at. All of a sudden, my car didn't feel like it was riding smooth. I pulled over and discovered I had a flat tire. I sat there with my mouth open, almost like the longer I stood with my mouth open in disbelief, the greater the possibility of it fixing itself would happen.

I called my friend Mike, who luckily works, like, 2 minutes from my apartment. Literally. His sweet, baby, angel heart came to my rescue. I know how to change a flat tire (duh) but my car was on a hill and the tire was pretty much shredded so I was going to need some manly hands to fix it. You know, the same kind of manly hands that can open pickle jars and kill spiders with tissues. Mike is a wonderful friend. Everyone should have a friend like him. Anyway.

Ten minutes later, the mini donut spare tire, which made me hungry, was on the car and ready to go. I'm going to leave out a lot of details for the sake of not killing you with boredom. Steve (yes, the Steve you are thinking, also came to my rescue cause we still happen to be BFF) got the tire replaced as well as one other one that appeared like it was about to pop. Then, ANOTHER tire blew out on the freeway while he was driving it. Yeah, the BRAND NEW tires that were just bought. He didn't get hurt, but my car had some minor damage to it. I'm glad the car received the damage and not Steve. Cars can be replaced, bodies and lives cannot.

Everyone, including my car, is now safe and sound and ready to put this day behind us. I will post pictures of the car tomorrow or something cause I have a motto "show pictures or it didn't happen."

I'm still wanting a mini donut thanks to the mini donut spare tire.

Also, sorry if this post was a bore to you, but I don't care, because all this car trouble was like a mini soap opera throughout my entire day.