“It's the tragedy of loving, 

you can't love anything more than something you miss.”

― Jonathan Safran Foer

halloween gone wrong.

For Halloween this year, I decided to be Leela from Futurama:

The biggest reason is because Futurama is one of my favorite cartoons and it would be a super easy costume to put together. Oh and I have a huge crush on Fry. I mean look at him, he's adorable:

Anyway, I was dressed up as Leela last night and I sadly don't have any photo evidence that I dressed up as her. I was freakin' excited for this costume but nobody knew who I was... probably cause I had two eyes instead of just one eye like Leela has. Everyone thought I was Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgram vs The World. Since I have a huge crush on Fry, part of me was hoping some guy out there in the big world was going to dress up as Fry and we would accidentally bump into each other and then it would be a match made in heaven. How cute would that story be? Maybe next year.

cold feet.

I bet when you read the title of this, you thought I was having commitment issues with something in my life. But nope. I just have unbelievably cold feet right now and they have been freezing all day.

So far, every day this week, I have had the thought...

I am going to clean my entire bedroom tonight and clean out my closet.

And so far, every day this week, I have...

Not cleaned my entire bedroom or cleaned out my closet.

I'll just have to hope it will eventually get done when I have one of those moods attack me where I want to clean the whole apartment, apartment building, neighborhood, city, state, country, world, etc. 

IN OTHER NEWS: Look what came in the mail today:
 

 My new Urbanears headphones that are my favorite color! Of course the first song I played for them to hear was Light My Fire by The Doors. I never want to take them off.... Even if they hurt my ears cause they press my earrings into my head in an uncomfortable way.

me being a hermit.

I spent the last two days being a hermit in the apartment. I only left it once and it was to go to the store to get some goodies for lunch and dinner. 

It has been the best two days of my life. I am a massive homebody and I am professional at being a hermit. I don't know when I started to be alarmingly antisocial, but I really don't care anymore.

I've spent these two days without any make up on, in a huge sweatshirt and on the couch watching Harold and Kumar. 

I wish everyday could be like this... but it probably would eventually make me go crazy.
Maybe someday I will break out of my comfort zone... but probably not.

Oh, and my new favorite thing to eat is a toasted wheat bread with a thin layer of chunky peanut butter on it. OOOOO! AAAHHHH! MMMMM!

26 hours.

Guess how long it took to get to San Francisco on a bus? 12 hours.
Guess how long it took to get back home from San Francisco on a bus? 14 hours.
26 hours total were spent on a bus traveling to and from San Francisco.
26 hours later and we are back in Utah.
I'm happy to be home but not happy that I will be at work tomorrow and no longer in San Francisco.
The worst part about a trip/vacation, is the part where you have to come home and not be on it anymore.
I had a fun time though, I have pictures to prove it. I didn't want to leave.

going back to the city where i left my heart two years ago.

By the time you read this, I will be on a bus, riding to San Francisco. I won't be just riding to San Francisco... but I will be riding to my favorite city in the United States... riding to the place I picture myself living someday... riding to the place I have already been twice and am still excited to go a third time. I'm pretty sure it's the coolest city in America.

Can't wait to get there! Reader, I will pick you out the most awesome souvenirs, you'll want to show them off to your friends and family.

a sad story about a sandwich.

I can't say I am the world's pickiest eater, mostly because I have not met everyone in the world, let alone been able observe their eating habits. But it' safe to say, out of the people I do know, I am the pickiest. So, I told myself I would try more foods lately that I would usually try. What a greater place to start than Subway?

Ever since I've been a loyal Subway customer, (I can't believe I'm writing about a sandwich either) I've gotten:

Footlong on white bread.
Ham & turkey.
Provolone cheese.
And pickles. Extra pickles. DUH.

I've been getting that sandwich for 100% of my life and for 100% of my life it has satisfied me. When the Subway dude asked me what I wanted, I panicked. So many meats, cheeses, dressings, lettuce, and things to choose from! I went with:

Footlong on wheat bread.
Grilled chicken.
Sweet onion dressing.
Lettuce.
Provolone cheese.
Banana peppers.

Pretty much, it was the worst sandwich I've ever eaten. I couldn't even finish it. I was reminded why I'm such a picky eater and why I don't like to try many new foods (even though I want to). I was disappointed because the sandwich I was imagining in my head would have tasted SO. GOOD.  So I continued to sit at work, disappointed and still craving that sandwich that doesn't exist.

to live in this world, you must be able to do three things:

to love what is mortal:

to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; 

and, when the time comes to let it go, 

to let it go. 

mary oliver

today.

This is Denise Austin and I love her.

I have oodles of her exercise DVD's and she is basically my hero. After work when I  got home... I moved the coffee table and stood in my new exercise space for the hour, took a deep breath and thought here. we. go. I did one of her belly, butt and thighs DVD's for the first time in four years. Sooooo many lunges  and squats. Even though these videos inspire me to someday wear bright, cute spandex outfits and have my own line of exercise DVD's, I think I may need a wheelchair in the morning. I'll be expecting to win an award for exaggerating my soreness.

things i don't suck at today.

Here is a list of things I don't suck at today.

1. Making miso soup. Miso is a delightful tofu soup.

2. Waking up early. Starting today, I started showering in the mornings again, instead of at night. That means rolling out of my bed and tripping on my piles of clothes in the dark at 6am instead of 8:45am.

3. Napping on the recliner part of the couch within 30 minutes of getting home from work.

4. Drinking water when I really really really wanted a Mountain Dew.

5. Picturing a T-Rex trying to put on a hat when I got a little sad to cheer me up.

awesome and not awesome.

Awesome:
1. Sundays.
2. I just painted my finger nails and toe nails. Bright powder pink on my fingers, dark red on my toes.
3. Fuzzy socks.
4. My food chopper that helps me make salsa.
5. Butterfinger candybars.
6. People who are nice.
7. Trying new shampoo.
8. Finding a good book.
9. Leonardo DiCaprio.
10. I am going to San Fransisco on Thursday.

Not awesome:
1. Tomorrow is Monday.
2. Tomatoes. I don't like them, but they are good for your skin so I making myself like them.
3. Messy rooms.
4. Dropping your cell phone in that small sliver of a space behind your oven.
5. Commercials on TV. All of them infuriate me lately. Especially those Febreeze ones where they blindfold the people.
6. I haven't seen a movie in theaters in a while.

youtube favorites.

I think all my "friends" secretly hate me for always shoving my latest Youtube obsession in the their face when they are over at my place. But I think they secretly like it, too cause the videos I show are usually pleasing. I'm pretty sure Youtube has been the start to many friendships around the world and even more ends to friendships....

Here are my top picks from Youtube.com

crazy me and my electronics.

Something funny and symbolic happened to me on the way home from work today. As I was driving, I was thinking how by the time Thursday is over, I am basically dead and ready to spend my weekend doing nothing. Then I had this image in my head that if I had a battery icon (like cell phones and iPods do) mine for my body would be flashing empty.

Just as I thought that, I looked down at my gas tank and it was on E. I checked my cell phone and the battery had 4% left. I picked up my iPod to change the song and the battery was empty except for the little red sliver.

Reader, me and all my electronics are totally in sync. How awesome is that? I feel like we all have the same heartbeat (metaphorically speaking).

So, right now, I'm laying on the new couch recharging myself for tomorrow, my iPod is on the iHome charging, my phone is plugged into the wall. We will all be ready for tomorrow!

On Wednesday night, I started cleaning out my closet because, I wanted to. Anyway, I know I've mentioned this before, but I am just way too attached to my clothes. As I would hold up a shirt and contemplate my life without it in my closet it, I had a thought... I feel like when I get rid of a shirt, it's like getting rid of a memory. I remember everything that had happened when I wore that shirt. I took that as a sign that I am in the early stages of hoarding. So I made myself get rid of the shirts (memories) and told each of them an individual goodbye as I stuffed them in the garbage bag.

Reader, I know I sound crazy. Get that look off your face and remember that you love me anyway.

Look at these pretty houses, Reader. Wanna move in them with me? I'm a stunning roommate.

my friend mike.

This is my friend Mike.

This is my friend Mike laying on the street in the ally behind my apartment.

This is my friend Mike laying on the street in the ally behind my apartment fixing my brakes.

This a picture of my friend Mike laying on the street in the ally behind my apartment fixing my brakes that I took from my car.

Mike is a wonderful friend that I've known since 1st grade.

He's way funny and is superb at fixing brakes and even better at making horrible puns.

Here is a quote I like just because it's Monday and I feel like sharing a quote:
"Some people feel the rain, others just get wet."
Bob Dylan

a weekend i think everyone should experience.

This post is brought you by the girl (me) in the red, thick knitted beanie hat.

I have tragic and disappointing news. My laptop no longer reads my memory card when I insert it, so as of right now, you will never see a picture that I have photographed... again. So, since I cannot show the pictures I took myself, I will just have to explain them and find something similar on Google. Thank goodness for Google.

It snowed on Thursday, and that made me feel pretty happy and I took a picture to remember that day. The snow pretty much looked like this:

Then, that same day, it had the most beautiful sunset. If Gorgeous and Beautiful had a child, it would have been the sunset on Thursday night. The picture I found on Google won't do it justice, obviously.

 Since, my favorite thing to do on a weeknight when it's snowing/raining outside is to cuddle up inside and be warm... I put on my warm cozy, fuzzy socks. Which look a little like this:

Then, on Saturday night, we went out to Wendover. Basically, Wendover is Las Vegas' forgotten step brother who has to live under the stairs and do the chores nobody wants to do. We sat and played the blackjack tables and I turned five bucks into............ 118 BUCKS. You read that right, Reader.... 118 BUCKS!! I am basically a millionaire now. While we were out there, I was invited to a party by a... man. Room 311. I said no.

In conclusion, this weekend ROCKED! I'm pretty sure I haven't used that phrase since I was in 5th grade, but that just goes to show how awesome this weekend was. Still wish I could upload my own photos though....

first and not awkward.

Dear Kaleena,

You survived. You survived driving on sketchy brakes for one more day and you also survived your first date. You were definitely more scared preparing yourself for the date, but either way you survived and are here typing this letter. Oh and you also loved the weather in Utah today, because it was mostly rain.

Date picked you up around seven thirty and when you saw him pull up by your apartment in his maroon truck, you ran to your room and dove onto your bed and screamed out your excitement and nervousness out into your pillow and then got up and strolled out ready for the date like you were calm and cool. He totally bought it too.

You guys went to a place called Blue Plate Diner and you ordered the french toast and he ordered the reuben sandwich. Much to your surprise, it was not awkward or uncomfortable. You both talked about your unnatural love for your first cars how you wanted to be buried in yours. After Blue Plate, you went to a pub called the Republican and people watched and talked about nonsense. People watching was interesting because from a distance, there was a group roasting one of their friends and some drunk karaoke-ing, Date told you that the Doors have performed at Lagoon. LAGOON. For those of you who do not live in Utah, Lagoon is an amusement park that is about thirty minutes from my apartment. I'm aware you weren't alive for this to be neat or a coincidence, but you still like the thought that Jim Morrison at one time was near your place of living.

Anyway, it was a super duper funtastic time accompanied with rain and he made you laugh and he said he wanted to see you again.


Reader, this could be a new beginning. DUN-DUN-DUN.

ten things that must go.

Here is a teeny tiny list of ten things that I would like to see never again.

1. People walking around barefoot at in the office. You know what never crosses my mind when I'm at my place of work being professional? Taking off my shoes and socks and walking around.
2. When girls call their boyfriends (or boys in general) "boy toy." I think it's rude and it sounds tacky and a bit childish.
3. Days that have only 24 hours in them. I think days would be better if they had 34 hours in them.
4. Expensive groceries. I like to buy groceries but I don't like having to choose if I want a full pantry or an empty bank account.
5. Spiders in my apartment.
6. People who say they can't talk to anybody before they have their coffee. Usually if they say that, I don't like to talk to them period.
7. Small dogs.
8. People who would rather look at the wall or act distracted instead of saying hi to break the awkward walk down a narrow hallway.
9. Coconut flavored anything.
10. The song, Don't Stop Believing by Journey.

a soon to be mechanic.

Reader, guess what? My brakes are going out on my car. Wanna know how I know? Because whenever I press on the brakes, it sounds like an airplane is taking off or like I'm dragging one billion sheets of steel on some rough gravel. Those are just two minor hints that your brakes are going out.  Since one of my buddy's a grease monkey, he is going to teach me how to fix and replace the brakes. That's right. So this means that pretty soon, if you need any car/engine work done, you can come to me and I will be your gal. And don't think it will be free. I've always wanted to be informed with cars and engines and I guess I will start with fixing my brakes. I'll do my best to document it.

IN OTHER NEWS: I have a date tomorrow. I feel calm and collected now, but the sooner the time of pick up gets, the more frantic I will be looking for a mini brown paper bag to be breath in to. Wish me luck.


IN OTHER OTHER NEWS: I am starting a project and it will be a project a black and white photo series. I don't know why, but I've been inspired by black and white photos lately. Like these ones:

lemon tree.

Reader, I'll be honest with you. Out of all the people on this planet, I probably make the greatest music playlists. One song that seems to be on all my playlists is Lemon Tree by Peter, Paul & Mary. I love the lyrics:

When I was just a lad of ten, my father said to me,

"Come here and take a lesson from the lovely lemon tree."

"Don't put your faith in love, my boy", my father said to me,

"I fear you'll find that love is like the lovely lemon tree."

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet

But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat.

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet

But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat.

One day beneath the lemon tree, my love and I did lie

A girl so sweet that when she smiled the stars rose in the sky.

We passed that summer lost in love beneath the lemon tree

The music of her laughter hid my father's words from me:

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet

But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat.

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet

But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat.

One day she left without a word. She took away the sun.

And in the dark she left behind, I knew what she had done.

She'd left me for another, it's a common tale but true.

A sadder man but wiser now I sing these words to you:

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet

But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat.

Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet

But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat.

this and that.

It's official. I've become the type of blogger that I hate. The kind of blogger that isn't a regular poster and when they do blog, it's not sincere or lacking depth. Those are the perfect ingredients for a poorly kept blog, in my opinion. I do apologize and this stops now! To be honest, I think it's what has been going on (or not going on, i suppose) in my life that is responsible for this nonsense.

Anyway, some highlights of this weekend were:

-Getting locked out of the apartment at 11:30pm
-Watching Utah get beat by Washington State.
-Running into a long lost friend/crush/person on Saturday night after the game. We both did double takes. It was pure magic.
-Worked until 7:30pm on Friday night. I usually only work til 5:00pm.
-Made some homemade salsa. If you want tips on how to make salsa NOT GOOD, just come watch me make it and take notes.
-When I was making salsa, I was cutting a banana pepper and the juice squirted right up in my eye.

My to do this for this week that I will do no matter what because I need to:
1. Decorate for Halloweeeeen! It's October, hooray.
2. Dye my hair again since the color is fading.
3. Go on lots of walks and take lots of pictures.
4. Don't be sad.
5. Hopefully find a free laptop somewhere that still functions properly.
6. Go for a run after work everyday.