Anyways.
Today I am disappointed. A goal of mine is to work on not being as shy as my shy self tends to be. So earlier this week when somebody new that I have recently made friends with asked to make plans with me this weekend, I said yes because I thought it would be a great start to not being shy. Any other day I would've said no and ran home to hide somewhere.. like under the covers or in the closet... Or maybe if I had a rock I crawled out of some point in my life, I could crawl back under it. I said yes fully aware that the whole week I was going to debate if I would really go or not. Fully aware I would try and come up with a million reasons why I shouldn't go, because to me, there is always a million reasons not to do something and I always have to find the one reason that I should.
So this morning, as I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, I thought, I am going to go tonight and I'm not going to be shy and bashful.... or make any uncomfortable jokes for that matter. I kept saying it over and over again (even when I was reading which made it really difficult to concentrate, I had to re-read some lines).
The moment of truth came, I texted my new friend saying they can surely expect me there only to find out the get-together had been canceled. CANCELED. CCCAAAANNNCCEEELLLEDD. A week worth of preparation only to be rejected!! Okay, I don't think that really counts as being rejected, but still.
So that's why today I am disappointed. I didn't want to go anyways! (that's a lie) So now I'm going to go back to my book, my reallyreallyreally good book. I'll work on not being so shy some other day.
