goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.

Next. Next. Next. Ugh. What is this? Next. Ew. Next. I kinda like thi.... no, next. --- That was me at work today when I was listening to my iPod on shuffle. I will tell you this: the shuffle I had going was garbage. Pure garbage. It was basically stuff that I know I should delete,  I want to delete, I deny having when I am asked about it, but I keep it on there cause I think, I know if I delete it, I'll want to listen to it and it's not THAT bad. Damn that green grass on the other side.

And now to share some news. Are you REDDY? (that is a hint of the news) I'm getting a 2000 red VW Beetle. Used of course. My white 93' Ford Explorer... or Exploder as everyone is used to calling it... reached the point where it would be wiser to get a new car rather than fixing the repair. When I found this out, it was very much like a doctor coming into the waiting room and saying, "I'm sorry, I wish there was something we could do."

I'm hiding my pain and deep attachment with splitting with my car. It's not just my first car, it's my first car that has been mine for four years. I feel like I'm giving away my firstborn. I'm haunted by an image that when I leave it for the last time, the windshield wiper fluid will start pouring on it's own, and I will look and know, that that is my car crying. Or maybe it got tired of waiting for me to clean the windshield so it's going to do it on it's own.

All I know is that I will listen to Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt for one last time in there before we part.