i hate when i confuse myself.

Hi.

I went on a date tonight. It was really fun! I have already been out with him like 4 times... I mentioned him on here before. Anyway, it was fun. We went to City Creek Mall (an outdoor-ish mall) and people watched and guessed people's names. We are pro at people watching and he thinks I am gifted when it comes to guessing names. I don't want to brag but I am pretty great at guessing names.

I feel good about it. There is still a lot I need to think about... not just about me and him but mostly what I even want. I've lived life with and without a boyfriend... they both have their ups and I think for the time being I am really okay with the life without a boyfriend. When you are in a relationship for so long... you kind of lose your "own" identity because you are so used to being as one with your spouse; doing EVERYTHING together. I want to get to know myself again because sometimes I even surprise myself with the things I like or no longer like. And sometimes when I sit down and have a good think about the things I do and do not want (not just in a person but in life) things get confusing and I end up not really knowing what I want. Ugh. It's kind of hard to know what you want from someone else when you don't really know what you want in life. Does that make sense? Probably not. But welcome to my head.

a whole lot of nothing can happen in a week.

So not eventful. But I still liked this week.

Monday - We go see the movie, Tower Heist. I go into the theater with zero expectations and leave the theater still laughing and ready to see it again.

Tuesday - I meet my Sisters at Subway for dinner. I try cucumber and tomatoes on a sandwich and become more obsessed with my nephews and nieces.

Wednesday - I go visit my friend, Dustin, who works at the Radisson Hotel downtown. We watched Llamas With Hats together on Youtube. While I was there, I decided I really want to work at a hotel.

Thursday - I wake up. I go to work. I come home from work. I don't do the dishes even though I should. I go to bed.

Friday -  I call in sick to work because of a migraine. I feel better around six PM. I go on a date with this guy again... we went bowling, he beat me and then we spend a few hours talking and people watching at the bowling ally.

Saturday - I go to TWO football games... BOTH involving snow. I stood a total of six hours outside this day, in freezing temperatures and snow. Later this night, I eat a piece of chicken with only a knife (cutting with it and taking bite with it) because I still haven't done the dishes.

Sunday - Harry Potter marathon on TV.

first and not awkward.

Dear Kaleena,

You survived. You survived driving on sketchy brakes for one more day and you also survived your first date. You were definitely more scared preparing yourself for the date, but either way you survived and are here typing this letter. Oh and you also loved the weather in Utah today, because it was mostly rain.

Date picked you up around seven thirty and when you saw him pull up by your apartment in his maroon truck, you ran to your room and dove onto your bed and screamed out your excitement and nervousness out into your pillow and then got up and strolled out ready for the date like you were calm and cool. He totally bought it too.

You guys went to a place called Blue Plate Diner and you ordered the french toast and he ordered the reuben sandwich. Much to your surprise, it was not awkward or uncomfortable. You both talked about your unnatural love for your first cars how you wanted to be buried in yours. After Blue Plate, you went to a pub called the Republican and people watched and talked about nonsense. People watching was interesting because from a distance, there was a group roasting one of their friends and some drunk karaoke-ing, Date told you that the Doors have performed at Lagoon. LAGOON. For those of you who do not live in Utah, Lagoon is an amusement park that is about thirty minutes from my apartment. I'm aware you weren't alive for this to be neat or a coincidence, but you still like the thought that Jim Morrison at one time was near your place of living.

Anyway, it was a super duper funtastic time accompanied with rain and he made you laugh and he said he wanted to see you again.


Reader, this could be a new beginning. DUN-DUN-DUN.

a soon to be mechanic.

Reader, guess what? My brakes are going out on my car. Wanna know how I know? Because whenever I press on the brakes, it sounds like an airplane is taking off or like I'm dragging one billion sheets of steel on some rough gravel. Those are just two minor hints that your brakes are going out.  Since one of my buddy's a grease monkey, he is going to teach me how to fix and replace the brakes. That's right. So this means that pretty soon, if you need any car/engine work done, you can come to me and I will be your gal. And don't think it will be free. I've always wanted to be informed with cars and engines and I guess I will start with fixing my brakes. I'll do my best to document it.

IN OTHER NEWS: I have a date tomorrow. I feel calm and collected now, but the sooner the time of pick up gets, the more frantic I will be looking for a mini brown paper bag to be breath in to. Wish me luck.


IN OTHER OTHER NEWS: I am starting a project and it will be a project a black and white photo series. I don't know why, but I've been inspired by black and white photos lately. Like these ones: