things you will never hear me say PART 1 (of a million probably)

This post is brought to you by me, KALEENA! And it's things you will never hear me say.

Here
we
go.

1. Meh, hygiene isn't a big deal at all.
2. I don't really care about a sense of humor.
3. I wanna go meet a bunch of new people and break the ice with small talk!!
4. I know exactly what I'm doing.
5. I prefer people to always ask me if I'm okay if I'm sitting quiet.
6. That's awesome you can't remember the last book you read.
7. I'll only go if there will be loud people there.
8. I'm never scared in the dark.
9. I can't wait to be a mom!
10. I would love to help you move.
11. Sleeping isn't that important to me.

the only sound sweeter than a child's laughter...

Is the sound of peace and silence!

ha.

After living with Shandey and my two nieces (Lola and Molly) for a month, it kind of made me realize I don't want kids and how much I enjoy solitude. They are the sweetest, most well behaved kids, but I honestly don't think i'm cut out to be a mom... mostly because I'm just a really big kid myself. And I'm really selfish with my time and "wants". I don't think I have the patience or the maturity (yet). For example, Molly is the cutest baby ever but when I'm holding her on my lap and she drools, I cringe and pass her to my sister so i can run away.

Maybe in 5-10 years I will feel differently and be ready to not be selfish and have some kids, but right now, I just don't feel like it's right for me.

Today is my last day staying at Shandey's house. In conclusion of this month, it has been decided that I will not be going to chicago anymore :(

I'm very sad at this news.

The reason being is my brother in law is too stressed about the move and that having me apart of it was too much I guess. But if anything, this is just an ellipsis... there is still a great chance I will be moving there after they are settled and he is no longer stressed.

music is my boyfriend.

Remember how stupid that one song was where music was everything to her? I always hated that song. But it somehow ended up as the title of this post.

I need to be honest. Because I am professional at portraying myself one way when I’m really suffering.
I’m not happy with myself. I don’t mean unhappy with my hair, clothes, personality, skills, etc. I know I have a lot of things to be happy with like my health, job, family, home, etc. But at the end of the day, I’m not proud or content with where I’m at at this point in my life. I am 23 years old and I haven’t accomplished anything major besides graduating high school. I haven’t taken any big risks or chances. I’ve lived a pretty vanilla, standard life. That doesn’t mean I don’t have any crazy stories or nights under my belt, or that I’ve never done anything wild… but part of me is happy with my decisions. I’m still so young that it’s okay that I don’t know what I want to be when I “grow up” or if I even want to get married (some days I dream of it, some days I swear I will never be somebody’s anything). But what makes me worry is I don’t think I’m ever going to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I’m afraid I’m never going to be really great at something that will allow me to accomplish anything great or huge. I want to create oppourtunities and live a life that would get a “based on a true story” movie made after it.

If the world was “Arrested Development” my life would be Ann. Ann-Hog. Egg.

Once apon a time when I was 18 and single, I was really happy with what I had going for me. I was discovering the “real world” after high-school. The life that was outside of Taylorsville High School and my friend’s basement. I had a full-time job (1pm-9pm), making new friends, staying up/out late, planning all the tattoos I would get, reading new genres of books, questioning things more, starting to rely on me to support myself instead of my parents. I really grew up and I was happy because I was doing things I had never done before and I was learning about what I enjoyed. It’s amazing how much you don’t know about yourself when you do the same routine every day.

Some people have a plan of what they want to acheive or have by blank age. I want to have a very loose plan that will still give me structure but will allow me to be spontaneous. I don’t care if I end up married with kids or single and owning a boutique in the city… all I want is to live a life that I am proud of at the end of the day and that makes me happy when I’m falling asleep.

i forgot to tell you something.

Remember when I was locked out yesterday? Well when I was trying to entertain myself I tried making the sound a cell phone makes when it's on vibrate and sitting on a hard surface, like a dresser or something.

I completly perfected it.

I can now add that to my long list of worthless talents.

free lunch!

I am sitting at work right now picking at a lunch that was free. The only sad thing about a free lunch is when it's the ONE kind of food you don't like. Mexican. We got free lunch today and out of all the food out there, it had to be Mexican food. But i'll live.

People don't understand the "madness" that is me not liking Mexican food, but it's mostly cause I hate beans and beans happen to be the main thing in all Mexican food.

BUT

I have become pro at picking out something I like when I have no choice but to eat Mexican food. I just look for the cheese quesadillas or cheese enchiladas and I am safe. So that's what I got. And now I have the hiccups.

This is what it looked like.

Meh.

On a completely unrelated, irrelevant note.... I have this chapstick that I use called BabyLips. (by Maybelline) and I am obsessed. But that's not why I'm telling you this. The BabyLips I get is the light blue tube with the light pink writing. Anyway. That stuff smells and tastes like Fruity Pebbles. And every day when I get to work I go through the same cycle...

1. Put on BabyLips.

2. "Mmm. This tastes like Fruity Pebbles!!"

 

3. I should get some Fruity Pebbles tonight after work.

4. Go home.

5. Don't get Fruity Pebbles.

Next day...

1. Put on BabyLips

.... Well you get it. 

did you know....

I have almost had this blog for three years. THREE YEARS. This is a girl who never finishes anything she starts........ (i know, it's a terrible flaw I have). I honestly didn't think I would still be blogging. But I am so who cares. Also... do you like how I haven't blogged in like a month and now I'm blogging non stop? Hee hee.

I've made many lists in the life of this blog... but I have also changed since this blog was born. So why not do some more lists to see how I have and have not changed, shall we? Okay.

FACTS:
1. My life is full of lists. To-do lists. To-don't lists. Grocery lists. Lists I haven't made yet. Goal lists. Random thought lists. Things that bug me lists. Weird word lists. I've typed list so much it doesn't sound like a real word anymore. List.
2. I bite the inside of my lips a lot. Especially when I'm deep in thought.
3. Breakfast food > dinner food.  -- Don't get me wrong, I love a good steak and a pile of buffalo wings. But breakfast food is just awesome.
4. I'm still afraid of the dark and some nights, yes, I do have to sleep with the hall light on.
5. I would rather spend a day in the mountains over a day at the beach.
6. I hate the beach. But i've only been to a few in California. So maybe I need to visit some exotic ones first.
7. I prefer gloom, overcast, and rain over sunshine and blue skies.
8. I am a fan of the oxford comma.
9. My wants and needs confuse me all the time.
10. I am a hermit.
11. Sometimes when I'm alone I want to be with a big group... but when I get with said group, I want to go back home. I am cray.
12. My #1 celebrity crush is Edward Norton.
13. I hate using the term celebrity crush.
14. That's all for now. Until I'm away from my computer and I remember something I should've put on here. Always happens.

girl in a hat.

Once upon a time I bought a fedora hat from Smith's Marketplace for 5 bucks. 

Because I am ghetto like that and don't care where my clothes/accessories come from. 

Well, I do at some level... but we can say that I'm not picky. 

(I don't know who is included when I said "we" just now in that previous statement.)

Only when picky when it comes to food. 

Speaking of food, I accidentally ate a spicy pickle last weekend.............. best accident I have ever made. 

It was delish. And now I want a whole jar of spicy pickles. 

Seriously. I am obsessed with spicy food and pickles so you can imagine my obsession right now.

photo by me (duh)

instagram: kaleena_

i can't believe i am almost 23...

Just a few things...

1. I wish it was Wednesday. Because if it was Wednesday, I would be getting paid. And I really really really really (adding a fifth really) REALLY need to get paid.

2. I am setting a mini goal for myself this week. It is: to work at least 9 hours a day. I know that sounds lame and silly and there are much bigger goals I could be setting... but I need some extra dough (see thing #1 above) and work has been so slow that I've been only getting 6-7 hours. So this week I will make myself stay for 8 or 9 hours.

3. My birthday is next Monday. CELEBRATE good times, COME ON!

4. I woke up with probably the worst... really, the WORST migraine I've yet to have in this life. But after suffering, I tried putting some ice on my neck and it worked really well. So the next time you have a headache or migraine that will make you want to die, try putting some ice on  your neck and it will help.

5. One of my biggest annoyances in life is when people have the TV up loud. Ugh. I hate it.

6. I have been trying to wear my hair with the middle part and I liked it at first but with each passing day, I'm thinking no. It's gotta go back to the side part.

7. I love finding home made natural remedies for things. Like, if you want to fade acne scars? You just rub lemon juice on them. Or if you want to make your skin look healthy and glowy, just rub chamomile tea on it. Yay!

a note from the universe.

Have you heard of the thing where you get notes from the universe? Well if not... here is what you do.

1. Open the internet machine.
2. Type in: www.tut.com
3. Then click on 'FREE SIGN UP'
4. Then fill out all the needed info and stuff.

Basically what it is, is you get an email sent to you every day of something that is inspirational or useful. I'm not talking like "BE YOURSELF, NO ONE ELSE WILL!" Not that crap. When you sing up they ask you 2 personal questions/goals and depending on those answers, that will determine what kind of inspiration they will send you. It's pretty neat.

So today, this is the one that was sent to me: (if I was more tech savvy I would take a screen shot, but that just ain't gonna happen)

I think you already feel it, Kaleena, but a really HUGE wave of LOVE is coming your way.

Once in a lifetime HUGE.

Hang ten,

    The Universe.

My first response was:

 But then I was like:

soooooo hot.

Yesterday, I made the poor choice of spending the most hot hours of the day outside. I was walking and then sitting and then sweating from 12:45pm - 3:30pm. It was SO HOT. Every once in a while a teeny tiny cool breeze would come but it didn't last long enough. Why was I sitting in such awful heat? Well I am a University of Utah football fan and yesterday happened to be their spring game.

I am kind of a baby when it comes to intense weather conditions. For example...

When it's superfreaky hot like it was yesterday, I declare:

"UGH, Being hot is the worst feeling ever. I would rather it be freezing 0 degree weather any day over this awful heat!!" And that's just the start of my declarations or complaining.

When it's superfreaky freezing cold (like how I wish it is when it's hot) I declare:

"UGH. Being cold is the worst feeling ever. I would rather it be scorching hot weather any day over this miserable coldness!!"

See? I am a baby who basically prefers any weather condition opposite of what the current one is. After the game was over, I had to walk UPHILL to get back to my car. UPHILL IN INSANE HEAT. I kept thinking "omg, what if I was in the desert right now?" and then I would have a mini panic attack on how miserable it would be.

On the way home, I stopped at the gas station and got the biggest water bottle and pretty much drank it all before I pulled out of the gas station. I got home and took a nice cool nap on the nice cool sheets.

There are 3 major things that will make me a grump ol' girl. Those three things:

1. Lack of sleep / being woken up from my slumber.
2. Being hungry for longer than 1 minute.
3. Being outside in intense cold or heat.

Sometimes all these happen at the same time. If you are ever with me when all three occur at one, I am giving you permission now to shoot me with a tranquilizer. EVERYONE around you will thank you.

craving food i've never even had.

So here is the thing. I've never in my life have eaten the famous food "eggs benedict". In fact, I didn't even know what it was exactly til like... a year ago. Bottom line is I have never tried eggs benedict or even been in the presence of someone who was consuming one.

 For some reason I have been craving eggs benedict like cray for like, the last two weeks. Besides spending the last two weeks craving eggs benedict, I have also spent these last two weeks googling images of eggs benedict. Haha oh yes. I honestly googled is two times today just at work. IT LOOKS SO GOOD.

But what confuses me is, how can I crave something so badly that I have never eaten? Well I guess what I'm really craving is what I imagine it to taste like. And what I'm imagining... mmm. It could save lives I tell you. I was the same way with sushi before I tried it. I craved sushi on the daily before I actually tried it....and I still crave it on the daily.

My goal is to try eggs benedict sometime soon. Hopefully within the week. I can't wait.

ramen for dinner.

My Thursday was a day filled with nothing. Nothing that would even make the headline news if there was a town or city named "Boring" where their motto would be "where nothing happens and it's boring."

It started like any other day.... me waking up from sleep and getting ready to live for another day. The next 8 hours were spent at work. Since I got a new computer at work, work was fun. It is crazy how much fun one individual can have looking at all the new, fancy features on a computer. I was in some sort of computer machine heaven. My day was filled with lots of  "oooos!" and "aaaahhhhs!" and "THIS COMPUTER RULES!"

This is my biggest struggle I've had on the computer today (and any day really) is this:

Hi my name is Kal9====--====

That is kind of a bad example... but what I just poorly demonstrated was when I go to backspace and I end up pressing the = or any other key. I suck at backspacing.

pooped.

Right now I am going to talk about how incredibly tired I am these days....

These days, I am pretty incredibly tired.

There. I am done talking about how tired I am.

Anyway. It has been raining all week and it's so nice. Even if it's not raining, I like the overcast.

Taxes were due yesterday. Want to know how I know that? Because yesterday I was thinking about how I still need to do my taxes before it's too late and then a simple Google search revealed they were due on April 17th. So I did them. Classic Kaleena - waiting til the last minute to do anything.

The other night when I was laying in bed, I was thinking about quotes. I really love quotes. I read them all the time on the internet or write them down when I'm reading a book. So I was thinking I want to come up with a quote(s) that has the potential to be quoted or sited 30 years from now and would give people goosebumps. And let me tell you, I was coming up with some good ones... I was minutes away from sleep but it seemed like the closer I was to sleep, the better they were sounding. I had the thought "crap, I should write these down... nah, I will surely remember them." ...Can I please tell you that every time in my life when I say "I don't need to write this down, I will remember." I never remember and wish I wrote it down? So now I have no idea what those life-changing quotes were that I made up and probably never will know. All I know is one had to do with a puzzle and me being a puzzle piece. It was deep.

I got a new computer at work today and that means I went from Windows XP to Windows 7 and I feel pretty fancy and like I'm really in 2012.

This post went here, there and everywhere.

as of right now.

Loving- Iced coffee from the grocery store. It's in the cold aisle right next to the coffee creamers. All you do is fill your cup up with ice cubes and then pour the ice coffee in it. Um, delicious.

Thinking about- Why is Teen Mom 2 on CMT right now?.

Anticipating-April Fools Day! Hee hee.

Listening to-The Temptations.

Eating- Well it's a Wednesday night after work... a pizza lunchable. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Wishing-I could pull off a tattoo sleeve.

sadness.

Me and my friends were talking about what songs/books/movies always make us cry. I answered them with one song, but I've been thinking about it more and here are my final results:

Songs:
Always On My Mind - Elvis Presley or Willie Nelson.
How it Ends - Devotchka
You Love Me - Devotchka
With or Without You - U2 --- even though I HATE U2. Ugh.
How Can I Help You To Say Goodbye - Patty Loveless
Last Kiss - Pearl Jam
Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
You Were Meant for Me - Jewel
Operator - Jim Croce

Books:
Paint it Black - Janet Fitch
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix  - J.K. Rowling

Movies:
P.S. I Love You. Especially this scene:


Garden State
(500) Days of Summer (lame, I know)
Marley and Me

That is all for now.

if only, if only.

Where will you find me today?

Ideally: 

Outside riding a bike around town 

Realistically:

Inside at my apartment because I don't have a bike. But I'm watching Boy Meets World, so life is good.

just cause.

Every once in a really frequent while, I have nothing to blog about. So when this happens I resort to making lists. So here are some things that you don't know about me and my life:

1. I don't sleep with a pillow.

2. I wake up at 6am to watch Golden Girls on the Hallmark channel.

3. I sometimes eat when I'm in the shower. This surprisingly takes a lot of practice.

4. I hate frosting. I usually scrape most of it off my cupcake or cake. Ew.

5. I have a salty tooth instead of a sweet tooth.

6. My family had a little goat when I was growing up named Billy. We didn't live on a farm or anything but we did have a goat.

7. I still sleep with my stuffed animal "Puffy" that I've since I was one. Puffy ain't go anywhere anytime soon. From the looks of it, I will be buried with Puffy.

8. This:

 

truth.

Chamomile tea is my new hero.

It smells good.

It tastes even better.

It's good for your skin.

Stress reliever.

Makes you sleep better.

Boosts immune system.

What I have been doing to help the appearance of my skin is:

Make some chamomile tea. After the tea bag has steeped, let it cool. After it's cooled, dip a cotton round in the tea and rub your face with it. It makes your face soooo soft and it gets rid of acne.

And ain't this the truth:

i want you, i need you, i love you.

Happy Valentines Day!

Hi Reader.

Did you come here looking for some love?

Well here is a hug and a pat on the head.

I'm really impartial to Valentines Day.

I could be single, happily married, angrily married, divorced, widowed, in a wheel chair, dating, dead, on life support, whatever.

And I would still have the same opinions on Valentines Day.

You would think I would be crazy for this day since I'm such a hopeless romantic,

but I think little anniversaries and surprises are better.

Hugs & tickles.

Bye.

well, that explains a lot.

I have been acting more moody and crazy than usual.
At first I didn't know why.

Then tonight I noticed it's a full moon.

I always get crazy when it's a full moon.

Owwooooo! 

(That's me howling).