another friday night and i ain't got nobody...

Just a song title and I changed a word but still. It fits.

I've never liked Fridays. The only thing Fridays have to offer for me is it's a night I can stay up late guilt free and think of all the things I've been wanting to do but never do them... like:

-rearrange my room.
-have an all night partywow movie marathon. literally all night.
-start painting again.
-make friendship bracelets.

But I usually will end up walking around my quiet apartment feeling restless. Sometimes Friday nights are hard for me if I'm alone. I have too much time to think and contemplate. I don't care being alone, most days I prefer the solitude... but I think of how I used to spend my Friday nights and how different my life has changed since then and I just sit and think "how did I get here? Seriously, WTF"

Reality be like...

"LOL Kaleena. I will take away everything you love and make you deal with it while everyone else seems to have their life together and make you wonder what you are doing wrong"

Expectations be like...

"Good things will happen to you and you will know what you want and feel and you will figure things out."

All I know is... I'm going to Smiths after work. Buying a big-ass steak. Seasoning it with lemon pepper, chopped onions, garlic, and pepper. Grilling it to medium-rare and then eating it.

silly things.

Today my brakes went out. Ha. And yes, It was just as frightening as it sounds! It gave me flashbacks to one day when I was sledding down a big snowy hill with my two friends and a little girl ran in our path but we were completely helpless to stop the sled and we crashed into her and knocked her beanie hat off. But all is well. My very nice uncle helped me out and my brakes are brand new! I feel like I'm driving a brand new car. It's delicious.

I just got done switching to a new/old purse. Reusing an old purse is like going through a time capsule. I find so many old treasures in there, especially because I keep a ton of stuff in my purses. Old movie tickets, old favorite lip glosses, old "lost" jewelery, old shoes (ha, jk) etc.

Are you in the mood for a good ol LOL? Did you come here hoping to giggle at least once? No? Well, in case all that talk about LOLoing and giggling got you in the mood to LOL and giggle, look at this:

forever lonely.

baking is fun when you don't suck at it.

My sister has an easy recipe for those pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. It only has three ingredients which is just wonderful news for people like me who struggle and have zero skills in the kitchen.

[The three ingredients are a box of spice cake mix, medium can of pumpkin, and chocolate chips. Pour in bowl. Mix. Cook for 12-14 minutes. Boom. You got some cookies.]

My sister said I had to get the medium can of pumpkin. When I got to the store I could only find a small-ish looking one and a huge one. She didn't answer when I called to get to the bottom of the confusion so I asked the nice old lady who was also shopping in the baking aisle. She was so nice and sweet and helpful. She gave me some baking tips (that I already forgot haha) but anyway, I like when people are that nice and helpful to strangers.

And then I came home, make the cookie dough, ate half of it, and baked the rest.

Just now, I stretched my hands out and looked at them while I thought of what else I was gonna say on here and my pinky on my right hand is shaking and quivering at a rate where I should probably be concerned. To WebMD I go....

"see you soon."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Why am I laughing? Fine then, I'll tell you why I am laughing.

Just another dull morning: driving to work in silence, (I'm still mad at you, car robber!!) pull into the most revolting parking lot Utah has to offer, scan by badge dealy, take the most prolonged route to my cave and there it is. It's sitting on my keyboard. A folded up piece of white paper with a K on it and a silly face.

Me: "What is this?"
Bitter, tired co-worker: *shrugs*
Me: "Did you see anyone bring this here?"
Bitter, tired co-worker: "No, no one has been in."
Me: .......

I sit my bewildered self down, unfold the paper and little do I know my day is about to be complete at 8:30am but for all the wrong reasons. It read:

Dear Kaleena,

 This is your secret crush. I wanted to type this so it wouldn't give away who I am! No fun if you knew who the person is writing this.
I like you. I like everything about you. I like youre name. I like youre hair. I like the color of youre eyes. I like youre personality. Its 1 of a kind!! I like how you look youre jeans and I like when you wear a dress. I like the way you play with youre jewlery when you are on the phone. I like when you wear youre hair curly. You are just a good looking woman and I love to look at you.
I wish I was like you, so kind. So caring. But very blunt and not afraid to speak youre mind. I can't help but think of you when i'm not around you. Time moves slow when you're not there. You are the first thing that falls into my head when I wake up, makes it easy to come to work. I see you listening to youre iPod, I wish I knew what you were listening to.
Kaleena, you are so beautiful!! I've never have seen you not looking pretty. Will I ever be lucky enough to have you? Hold you? To be the one you smile at? To talk to?


See you soon.
-secret crush


HA HA!
#1. IF I knew who you are, secret crush, the answer is no. I refuse, REFUSE to date anyone who has terrible grammar like you. It was physically painful to read that. I think my eyes bled a little.
#2 No. I have a hunky boyfriend.
#3 No again.
#4 Those were kind, sweet words, but you could not have addressed them in a more creepy, terrifying way. 
#5 Thank you, thank you for making me laugh til I.... stopped.