yo.

It's 12:38AM on a Friday.
I was up until 4:30AM last night.
Which meant work sucked.
Yawn, work, yawn, work, zone out.
Luckily I function pretty well on no sleep.
But regrettably it makes me grumpy.
But hey
it's all good.
That's what naps are for.

Things i'm looking forward to:
Dressing up as Shaun from Shaun of the Dead.
Sleeping. Ha.
Little things.
Making new playlists on Spotify (user profile https://open.spotify.com/user/1240390918) if you want to follow.
Expressing my perspective more.
Being myself.
Taking more pictures.
Everything for once.


Things i'm not looking forward to:
Still living with anxiety
Anxiety
People who talk a lot without saying anything really.

I need to work on:
Being present in the moment. Not anxious in future moments. Not caught up in past interactions.
Not worrying about what I said 2 weeks ago.
Directing all the buzz going on in my brain towards something productive and meaningful.
Not living through a screen. It creates this in-between reality that is useless. 

i'm going nowhere, but I'm guaranteed to be late.

This week was awesome because it rained 7 days out of the 7 days that are in the week. And to me, that's all I could ask for in a week. 

Right now, I am counting down the minutes until I'm driving to McDonalds to get McDonalds breakfast. Sometimes you realize that every decision in your life has led you to waiting for it to be midnight so McDonalds breakfast will be served. 

Last night was pretty fun. Some friends and I had plans to see the Classic Rock laser show at the Clark Planetarium that started at 10pm. So leading up to that, we were gonna hang out and get some food. A weird pleasure I have is enjoying trying to get five tummies in sync with something that sounds good to everyone. Sometimes it causes fights or disagreements, but I think it's fun and funny. We landed on sushi so we went to the Happy Sumo. I got the basic Vegas and Venus rolls. And mmm Mmmm MMM! Oh and I taught everyone there how to use chopsticks. 

The laser show was badass. They would put two songs up on the dome/screen and we had to vote which one we wanted to see. The first song was between THE DOORS and MODEST MOUSE. How unfair! How dare they. My two favorite bands - paired against each other. :( It was a tough decision. My friends laughed at the irony. Even today, I'm still flustered that out of all the songs to be voted against, it had to be those two bands. 

Ugh. 

i'll help you procrastinate.

You can put off grocery shopping another day...

You can put off going to the gym for just one more day...

You can put off folding your laundry for another day...

You can put off helping your kid with the science fair proj... actually no, don't put that off.

In other words, you can put everything on your to-do list off for a good reason!

You are putting all of this off because you are gonna go see, What We Do In The Shadows. 

It's a comedy/horror (mostly just hilarious/awesome/insanely refreshing) movie and you will laugh through and through. 

It is easily put in my top 10 favorite movies.

I had no idea how the movie was gonna end and I really admire that in movie now days.

So go see it. And then tell me so we can talk about the funny parts and laugh.

a good friday night.

If it was a perfect Friday night... 

I would have been sitting in Energy Solutions Arena 

watching Bob Seger sing "Night Moves" and "Against the Wind" on stage. 

But that didn't happen. 

It was supposed to. 

But it didn't. 

And I say fooey!

So, instead I was at Oasis with 

Brennin, Spencer, and Josh.

All in which are my friends.

I mostly hung out with Brennin because he was helping with some of my decks. 

I made the kid with red hair sitting at the table with us laugh 

when I made some joke where I called Brennin 

"Adolf Magic"

It's insane how much making a stranger laugh can make me feel. 

I love it.

Still, after all this time when I find myself somewhere like Oasis on a Friday night

I still think of how did i get here and what am i doing? 

i miss my old Friday nights.

Even though it was Friday the 13th and I'm only a little-stitious... I try not to be superstitious because that garbage is for the feeble minded. That being said, I will admit i'm always relieved when
Friday the 13th is over.
Whew.

when will i grow up....

When I was a little girl, I always thought I would be "grown up" by blank age. 

Be a certain person by blank age.

Have everything figured out.

But the more I grow up, the more I experience, the more I "learn"...

the more I realize I don't know CRAP about ANYTHING. 

The older I get, the more confused I feel. 

I think I'm growing up wrong.

The only advice I can offer to people is...
-Watch Breaking Bad.
-Anything bunny related.
-The best locations to get Mountain Dew deals (especially the limited edition ones).
-It's not a bad thing to ask for help.

And that's... about... it....

IN OTHER NEWS:

I have a magnifying glass that I play with and take pictures because they make the photos a little distorted and goofy. Is this the Pioneers version of the iPhoto Booth before it was invented?

a list because... just because.

Here is a list of mini goals I am making for myself. Mostly for this blog and a few just because I need some goals. And because I used to posts lists here daily and I should bring that back. Should I make a list on why I need to make more lists? Haha no, okay.


My list of goals:

1. Don't be afraid of the dark.
2. Stop calling your friends in the middle of the night because you are scared of the dark and are 100% sure you heard something in the hallway.
3. Grow up. (see #1 and #2)
4. Bring back "bits of my weekend"
5. Take pictures for "bits of my weekend"
6. Go for a walk around the lake once a day. Either morning or night.
7. Don't focus on the past. It's okay to remember the good things from my past and smile and treasure them, but I can't keep dwelling.
8. Use my cameras more.
9. Find that idiot who broke into my car and stole my camera and aux cord and beat him up. Or just get my things back.
10. Stop comparing my life to others. It makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong when I'm not. I like where I'm at right now.
11. Clean out my closet and get rid of the clothes I have sentimental value with. Well, I can only keep a few with the sentimental value... it's not necessarily hoarding. I just like to keep the memory on them.
12. Start my wall of clocks.


That's it for now. 

it's a special-unique day...

Do you know what today is? Well, today is......

................

11-12-2013

I love cool number dates like this. So tonight, Alysha and I are going to celebrate at 9:10. Celebrating at 9:10 probably means getting excited when the clock turns 9:10 while our other roommates judge us. But what other way can you celebrate this day?

On Sunday, we played broom ball. Have you ever played? Well stop reading this and go play right now! But if you haven't played, before you leave to play and have the time of your life, let me explain how to play. It's basically hockey except you don't wear skates, you just wear tennis shoes and you play on the ice. It was an intimidating concept because I just pictured myself slipping and flailing on the ice and getting the little rubber ball whacked in my face but it felt like we were playing on cement and I left without getting hit or hurt.

You have to master a technique on how to run fast on the ice. Unfortunately, the technique that worked for me was to waddle somewhat low to the ground. Don't give me that look. It got me around pretty quick.

another friday night and i ain't got nobody...

Just a song title and I changed a word but still. It fits.

I've never liked Fridays. The only thing Fridays have to offer for me is it's a night I can stay up late guilt free and think of all the things I've been wanting to do but never do them... like:

-rearrange my room.
-have an all night partywow movie marathon. literally all night.
-start painting again.
-make friendship bracelets.

But I usually will end up walking around my quiet apartment feeling restless. Sometimes Friday nights are hard for me if I'm alone. I have too much time to think and contemplate. I don't care being alone, most days I prefer the solitude... but I think of how I used to spend my Friday nights and how different my life has changed since then and I just sit and think "how did I get here? Seriously, WTF"

Reality be like...

"LOL Kaleena. I will take away everything you love and make you deal with it while everyone else seems to have their life together and make you wonder what you are doing wrong"

Expectations be like...

"Good things will happen to you and you will know what you want and feel and you will figure things out."

All I know is... I'm going to Smiths after work. Buying a big-ass steak. Seasoning it with lemon pepper, chopped onions, garlic, and pepper. Grilling it to medium-rare and then eating it.

one fish, two fish, who is dr seuss.

This was one of the best weekends I've had in a loooooong time. That long needs more "o's" for emphasis. In a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time.

On Friday I went to this mummy exhibit at the Leonardo museum with my good friend Brad that I used to work with. Mummies are so interesting but equally creepy. I was in the mummy's faces like "whoooa, this mummy was once an actual human being who loved, and had a family, and was walking around and now he is just here in this case being a mummy."

Then on Saturday I went fishing. And it honestly was so much fun. Kids at a five year old birthday party who have access to unlimited soda, cotton candy, and ice cream who can later bounce around in an inflatable bounce-house without any adults nagging them to not jump so high don't have as much fun as I did fishing. I didn't catch anything, but who cares. We hiked up Bell's canyon and went fishing there and it was so peaceful and calm. After we fished it was rock time. We chucked rocks into the lake which is oddly of my favorite nature-related hobbies. Then the rest of the night was spent drinking beer and people watching at the bar, Hog's Wallow. And I agree, it does sound like something straight from Harry Potter.

This is a picture I captured myself from fishing... I didn't rip it off from a nature magazine. It's legit from my phone.

Sunday was Sunday. It was a BEAUTIFUL day (from what I could tell from my window). I was chin deep in Sunday mode and was in bed all day watching the Office on DVD, drinking Squeez-its and trying to avoid my real adult problems.

things that suck.

VACUUMS MOSTLY.

This post is dedicated to how fun vacuuming is.

I'm not being sarcastic.

We got a new vacuum and it's been so fun to vacuum with such power. I love to vacuum. It's so clean up in here now. Not one piece of scrap, dust, food, crumb, etc is on the carpet.

I will seriously come and vacuum for you. (if you live in my area, ha).

Does this mean I'm finally an adult if I'm excited over a new vacuum?

 

december!

It's here!

My favorite month out of the whole entire freaking year!

Not just because of Christmas, but that does have a huge part.

Anyway, this weekend was so fun but I have like two pictures for proof. WTF.

Friday:
Steve and I went over to his friend Dennis' house and hung out and played Mario Kart. He lives near Westminster and he has THEE cutest doggy named Daisy. She is 50% Pit Bill, 50% Lab and 100% adorable. Trust me. She has better manners than most humans I know, too. Ha. She liked to cuddle me too so it was a win all around. I want that dog.

Saturday:
A lot of nothing happened this day, but it was needed. Steve and I woke up, lounged around, the bunny played around on my lap and we watched Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman (have you watched this? SO intriguing) and then we decided we cannot watch food shows when we have nothing to eat. So we went down to Mokis and get take out. It hit all the right spots a hungry stomach could ask for. Then we got tired from all the nothing doing and eating so we napped (haha) then woke up and went and saw Skyfall. OMG. It doesn't matter what kind of movies you like you NEED to go see this. I'm being 100% serious when I say that I did the "raise the roof" motion in the theater when the credits started. It was amazing.

Sunday:
My newest niece Molly got blessed so I went to church to witness it and then went and ate lunch at my sister's house. Then I got in some serious bunny play time which we both loved and then we went down to eat dinner at Steve's parent's house.

typing is my favorite way to let my nails dry.

I don't know why but I always blog after I paint my nails. Probably because typing helps them dry and if I try doing anything else (VERY CAREFULLY) I will always smudge my newly painted nails. I suck.

SO GUESS WHAT!

Let it be known......

That this weekend........

I learned how to drive a stick shift! Yup. I can now officially drive a stick shift. I kind of knew how before, but now I have it down and am pro. Steve taught me and was a swell teacher. But if you ask him about the experience, he will tell you that I killed the engine four times in a row in the MIDDLE of an intersection. I almost went in panic mode, but he told me to stay calm.

Lou and I are starting to be buds. When I let him out for his daily play hour(s), he is starting to follow me around and boop me. Getting booped by a bunny is just an experience you can't beat. If only I was lucky enough to have caught it on camera. Here are some of my favorite internet boops:

 

my life is a little bit ruined.

The weekend was great and now it is over! Just wanted to get that obvious statement out of the way.

So... why my life is a tiny bit ruined. My friend e-mailed me at work today and asked if I knew what a skinwalker was. Bless. What a frightening thing it is. Like, TERRIFYING. I'm no expert on the skinwalkers, but from what I read on the internet it is really disturbing and scary and I hope I continue to live my life without encountering a skinwalker. I'm not going to go into the details here... mostly because I get scared easy and I don't want to scare myself by writing about it, so If you want to know more, please just Google 'skinwalkers in Utah'. Apparently they are huge on a few ranches in Utah.

I'm really happy these days and it's all because of little bunny Lou. Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness obviously has never used money to buy a bunny.

We watched the movie Taken last night. Made me super excited for the sequel. If you didn't know there was going to be a sequel, well now you know.

I made the decision to go from medium auburn hair to intense auburn hair. Here it is:

 

i used to sleep without a single stir.

We went to the Brand New concert on Friday.
As expected, we surely were not disappointed.

They played every song I was hoping they would.
They opened with Millstone, one of my favesies.

Right before Brand New took the stage Telepreformance came on the stage with arm fulls of t-shirts and said, "who wants a brand new t-shirt??" and I didn't know if they meant brand new as in brand new or brand new as in Brand New the band. What a conundrum!

I'm always amused at all the variety of people a concert/band attracts.
I saw hipsters, goths, people in sweats, preps, sluts, old people, couples who embrace each other the whole time, etc.

The hippies were right. Music really does bring everyone together.

I sadly don't have a decent picture of Brand New on stage since we weren't that close to the stage.
Because the only worse than not having a picture of the band is having a really low quality picture of the band where it can easily be mistaken for Christmas tree (or something twinkley) from far away.

a pedestrian weekend.

Another weekend has come and gone,
another weekend that wasn't even long.

It's Monday and I am writing stupid poems. What is happening? Well, I don't know. But I do know that I am bored at work and sometimes I write dumb poems when I'm bored.

This weekend was pretty... pedestrian.

Friday: Drove up to Logan. Watched the Utah Utes football team get beat by Utah State. OH MY GAH. Such a sad and depressing event to see.

Saturday: Spent napping, eating, eating, snacking, complaining that I eat too much, and snacking. Then to top this day off, we went down to Buffalo Wild Wings (or as Shandey calls it, Buffalo Wild Bills) and ate some more. What a wonderful thing eating and complaining is.

Sunday: Nothing. But my niece Molly was born and she is a sweet little baby bean.

It's pretty rainy and cloudy and awesome today. So my plans for when I get home is to get my jammy jams, put in Scott Pilgrim vs The World in the ol' DVD machine and watch it. You can join if you want because as of right now it looks like it will be a one woman pajama party!

right now.

Right now I am happy I am home.

Right now I am happy that I have a fan blowing in my face.

Right now I am happy the Olympics are on. 

Right now I love LIFE cereal.

Right now I'm pretty excited and happy that I made my final payment for my tuition! 

Right now I'm not excited anymore because I still have other bills to pay.

"Only worry about the things that you have complete control over and stay optimistic. Everything will work out."

saturday.

Sleeping in.

Running errands.

Sprague Library.

Work. (kind of)

Red Robin for lunch.

Driving around listening to Reel Big Fish.

Watch some Youtube Videos.

Nap.

Stand in line for Reel Big Fish concert.

Reel Big Fish concert.

Dees.

F'Real milkshake.

ba ba ba bowling!

Last night was a fun filled night of bowling at the Bonwood Bowling Ally extravaganza!! Bonwood is the best for a lot of reasons... but the #1 reason is because you can bowl THREE games (shoes included, oh yes) for only seven bucks. I mean, for bowling you just can't get cheaper than that. Some would call it a steal.

My first game I took 3rd with the score of 137, second game I got 131 (tied at 2nd) and the third game... well let's just say I wasn't really trying and I only bowled a 92.

When we bowl, it's always my favorite thing to look at the other monitors of the fellow bowlers to see what names they chose. Sometimes it's just their real name but other times you'll see something like BUBBA, The Machine, Odessy, TANK, Playa420, etc. My name is usually Buckmister or Special K.

One day when I'm an old lady i'll have a bowling league with all my old lady friends and it will be a hoot and a half. Matching shirts and all. Looking forward to it.

 photo by: me

it's an intsagram photo actually.

username: kaleenajaneface



one of those days.

Today was one of those days where I am pretty sure the phrase "one of those days" was made up for. Nothing really that huge happened for it to be named one of those days. Just a bunch of little things.

But

I did make it through and everything is alright. At this point, I really am just looking forward to getting into my bed. But first I think I will watch some OLD OLD OLD episodes of the Office. Because these days if you want to laugh while watching the Office, you can't watch the new ones... that's for sure!

Today, I am grateful for my blog. I forget what a time capsule this thing is. I put so many things on here long ago that I completely forgot about and I am very happy that I did.

i can't wait until i feel ways about things.

So, Hunger Games (book). At first I was like, "no." But now I am like, "yes. Sure, why not."

I started reading Hunger Games because overly obsessed sister kept asking me to. So I finally started and right now I am on Part III. I had a difficult time getting into this book. When I would put it down for a break, I honestly didn't care what was going to happen next. And I usually take that as a bad sign when reading a book. But good news is, I am finally interested and this book isn't so bad after all. Do you know how many people in my life told me that our friendship (and sistership, I guess) was on the line if I didn't like the Hunger Games series? Well it was a lot.

We went to Buffalo Wild Wings last night. Probably #1 favorite restaurant. If for some reason I am getting the death sentence and am faced a choice of picking my last meal, I already know what I am choosing. I've had this list for a while now... I need to prepared.

1. Buffalo Wild Wings - their buffalo wings, of course.
2. Cereal. Just what kind of cereal is the real question. I guess we'll have to wait to see what I'm craving before I die... it will probably be LIFE cereal. Ha! Get it? Sorry....
3. Cheese fries. Obviously.
4. More cheese fries. Obviously.
5. Sushi! The tiger roll from Red Ginger to be exact.
6.Cheddar potato soup.
7. Mountain Dew.
8. BBQ ribs.

And that is all for now. That list made me hungry.