annoying sniffles.

I have an annoying cold.

Dry cough.

My nose feels runny but nothing happens with I blow my nose.

My lungs burn and hurt... especially when I cough.

And I constantly feel hot. Like a fever or something.

UGH.

All I wanted to do was sleep last night so I could wake up and feel like a normal girl. But this cold refused to let me have that.

UGH.

So I will just go drink a bottle of Nyquil, read my Harry Potter on my Harry Potter pillow case, and hope for the best.

photo of the day #104

Dad forgot to get the family the swimming pool for Christmas they had been begging for all year. So, the Mom and three daughters "forgot" to get him a matching pair of jammies for their annual Christmas photo.

spending a day down in the dumpies.

“…And then he almost hit me with his car, with his kids in the car! He was like this far away from me *points to how close* And I was like, man, I just wanted my laptop back. We like broke up on Sunday night and I just want my laptop back, people who don’t date shouldn’t take laptops without asking. The cops came and now I can’t see my kids anymore, I don’t have my laptop and I almost got run over. I think the cops are still after me too. Yeah, I think they are.”

That’s the response I get Reader, for asking the Top Stop lady person how she was doing yesterday while she helped me pay for my morning donut.

I didn’t really care for her story. At that time of morning, I only have one care and it is for my donut. So I just made appropriate facial expressions where it sounded like they needed to be and peppered in some occasional “what!!”  and “no, way.” and “is that legal?”

Note to self: Never ask how anybody is doing that is working at a Top Stop. AGAIN.

Maybe that’s why I was down in the dumpies yesterday. Surely, Top Stop employee is more in the dumpies than me, but still.  

I mean, it started out to be a great day… I didn’t have any bad luck in the morning traffic like I usually do… That meaning: I didn’t even have to shout ‘whore!’ from my window at a girl who almost crashes into me and everyone else on the road because the text message is just so important she can’t tear her eyes from it to drive.

But somewhere something went wrong.

Maybe it’s because I listened to Octopus’s Garden by the Beatles two times in a row.

Maybe it’s because at my work desk I am surrounded by ‘I am an unhappy middle-aged woman and I hate my husband and am a choc-o-holic’ banter for 8 hours straight.

Maybe it’s because somebody asked if the freckle in my eye was real. Is there a way to have a fake freckle… in an eye? I didn’t think so either.

Maybe it’s because I tripped up the stairs when nobody saw, which to me is more embarrassing than an audience watching you trip up stairs. 

Maybe it's because I put my friend's new cell phone number in my phone incorrectly, so I was sending awkward text messages to the wrong person until they kindly sent back Just stop.

 

I have been walking around like this all day:

Sad George-Micheal from Arrested Development

Cheers to a better tomorrow.

that one time at target.

Reader, I am very insecure about some things in life. One of those things, is when I am the store buying feminine hygiene stuff. I've been known to put unnecessary items in my basket just to hide the damn things.

After many years of thought, I really believe that they should make some sort of cover to put over them so not everyone has to stare at them when you purchase them. I've tried out some ideas out of my own, but it usually ends up with me looking like I'm stealing. I mean really, It's not that I'm immature or anything... it's just I get embarrassed easy... and once I place them on the conveyor belt at the checkout and watch them glide slowly, so painfully slow, to the store employee, I feel like everyone in the line behind (and the whole world!!!!) knows too much about me. Sometimes I've been tempted to yell "oh my, what is that!!?" and point in the other direction.

Tonight, at Target, lovely lovely Target. My home away from home, I was in that particular aisle. I was wondering how and why there so many different products for the same thing and I was approached by like a 17 year old boy plastered in acne with metal for teeth. Very cliche.

"Are you finding what you are looking for?

"....... yes?"

"My name is Jake, let me know if you need any help."

Please Jake, please. Just leave.

Jake, I applaud you wanting to give me wonderful customer service but really you couldn't have chosen a more UNCOMFORTABLE and awkward time.

Reader, I hope this didn't make you uncomfortable... cause I was a little uncomfortable typing this. Little steps, right?

Also, did anybody watch Even Stevens on Disney? Yeah? Well, remember the pesky little pest named Beans? Well this is him now.... brace yourself....

photo of the day #100

What happens when Carlos' girlfriend stands him up for the 3rd time in a row?

Sexy kitty bath time.

photo of the day #99

Daycare used to be so much more creepy and dangerous back in the 70's.

photo of the day #97

It's not a real party until somebody takes their pants off... It's just a shame when it has to be Dad.

photo of the day #94

Um, yeah. Just about everything in this picture needs to go back where it came from and not be on the internet ever again.

i wore mismathced colored socks today.

On purpose. Just cause I didn't want to swim through our messy bedroom floor to find the correct pair.

Today has probably been my weirdest day. I don't know if it's because my the wheels in my head have been turning at 38+mph causing me to feel mentally fatigued, or because I wore two different colors of socks, that I'm feeling mentally fatigued... erm, I'm aware I already said that. 

I took some Excedrin on an empty belly and fell asleep. I had some pretty fierce dreams. I don't want to share them with you because to be honest, I don't think anyone really cares about anyone elses dreams unless they are in them... or if somebody is naked. No matter how well I explain my dreams, even through a game of sherades with props, people will tell me to relax, get a night light, and quit blocking the TV.

This has been a rough week to say the least and only two things made it better today:
1. I didn't hit ONE red light on the way home.
2. I saw a big yellow lab wearing a sweater vest.

Well Reader, I hope your day was better than mine. As long as you have matching socks, your day is already a greater success.

Kaleena: 0 Everything else: 1

photo of the day #86

So where do you live?

In the middle of nowhere. Literally.

sweet pea.

I only think of one thing when I hear Sweet Pea (from Bath & Body Works) or get a good whiff of it.

7th grade P.E. class.

For whatever reason, my classmate Wency, liked to spray the Sweet Pea body lotion before, during and after P.E. I used to like the smell til Wency made it a personal goal to kill and torture me with it. Most people was happy that P.E. was over so they didn't have to stand awkwardly around pretending they were participating. Me? I was happy to escape Sweet Pea.

It didn't stop there. A co-worker of mine now likes to spray a certain body spray after she is done smoking.

Me: *sniff, sniff* That smells like Swee.... NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I know, Reader. It's hard. I thought my Sweet Pea days were done after the 7th grade.

But guess what? Somebody gifted me Sweet Pea body wash for Christmas. But why? And guess what? I like it. But ONLY the body wash. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!!

the cons to making ramen at 4am.

I know Reader, I didn't think there were any cons to making Ramen at 4am either. But there is...

Last night after Steve and I finished watching Elf (what's a Christmasgram? I want one!), I got an outrageous craving for Ramen. It sounded so good. I was going to wait til the morning, Ramen for breakfast? Why not. But the longer I went without satisfying my craving, the more afraid I was of things getting dangerous in our living room. So off to the kitchen I darted.

Minutes later, I was balled up on the kitchen floor cradling my middle finger with a single solitary tear glistening on my cheek. Reader, I burned my middle finger on the stove burner. OUCH. Once Steve steve stopped judging me, he advised me to run it under cold water... which hurt so good.

Long story short, this is the most painful blog post I've ever typed because there is a blister on the middle finger and typing is different task with a blister involved. Despite the near death experience, it was a delicious bowl of Ramen indeed. Truly a Christmas Eve miracle.


Whoa... just glanced down to bottom left corner of my lap top... 12:14am which means....

CHRISTMAS.

Happy holidays!

i live in utah and like the winter.

I like Winter.

I do not like when you are driving while it's snowing and after you come to a stop and open the door and step out... the snow from on top of the car, drops down right on your shoulder and goes all down your shirt. Boooo!

what did you do at work today?

I started my work day by crawling.. CRAWLING on all fours over a snow pile to get into my office building. I wish this was a joke. Oh, and I was carrying a cake too. Do you ever wonder how I get myself into these situations Reader?

Shortly after I was struggling on all fours on a heap of snow, I found myself quietly whimpering at my desk with wet knees, pink hands and a face plasterd with snow flakes and shame.

Besides crawling over snow piles, I got 18 free dollars at work today. However, I'm not going to share how because you will think I am a terrible human being and say I'm going to Hell on a rocket. I didn't steal or hold anyone at gun point or anything, let's just say... there was a misunderstanding with said cake. My first thought when I got the 18 bucks wasn't to buy lunch (even though my stomach was yelling at me), early Christmas presents, or 18 jr. bacon cheeseburgers. My first thought was to lay out the 3 five dollar bills and and 3 one dollar bills and roll around... roll around and laugh evily. You do that when you have a lot of money, right?

you don't know what you have until you lose it.

It's gone. *sniffle, sniffle* It's really goooooooooone!!

What's that, Reader? What's gone? Well, besides my pride, integrity, and ability to stop myself from asking people what caterpillars are afraid of (by the way, the answer is dogarpillars), my wallet that I was hoping was just  stupidly misplaced is g-g-gooooone! 

At about 10:31AM yesterday morning, my heart was officially broken and depleted and replaced with defeat and shame. I phoned the restaurant from the night before at 10:30AM asking about my lost wallet. 

"Hang on"

They set the phone down and after listening to muffled voices, heavy breathing and rubbish... a voice came back on and asked me to please  be calm and stop breathing so hard.

"Sorry. No wallet here."

And that's when I realized from this day on, I would be a changed person. No, really. Not just cause of the tragedy that keeps making my eyes teary (no.. i'm not crying, i... i.. just yawned?) but that I was now at risk of identity theft. 

"Thank you for calling the identity theft hotline, your call will be answered shortly" I can't believe that this is me. A potential victim of ID theft.

"Identity theft hotline, this is Charly/Charlie."

Me: "......."

I truthfully couldn't tell you how the rest of the conversation went, I was too distracted trying to figure out if I was speaking to a man or a woman. The voice and mystery of this person caught my attention as if I was a kitten in a basket and somebody dangled yarn in front me.

The pros of this situation:
-No money was/has been stolen
-No cash was in the wallet
-I needed a new wallet anyways,this will finally make me get one. Am I moving on too fast?

The cons:
-my wallet was stolen.
-I could lose my Id
-I'm now haunted by the mystery of charlie/charly
-I lost all my movie ticket stubs I've accumulated since 11th grade.
-I was ONE meal away from a free meal, and that proof was in my wallet.

photo of the day #33

Yeah? Well I can... um... I can... tap my head and rub my tummy and the same time. HA!

but why?

So yeah. I have made three very certain conclusions. These conclusions are unfortunate and may cause some to shed one single solitary tear but are true nonetheless.

1. All good things must end someday. But why?
2. The grass is greener on the other side. But why?
3. People who gossip to you, gossip about you. But why? I'm not a 'he said, she said' gal, but still.
4. You don't know what you have until you lose it. But why?

Okay, I know I said three conclusions, but I spontaneously thought of that 4th one while typing the third one.